Full Westport
by Cast of American Housewifeon American Housewife: The Musical[ANGELA]
Look at life in Westport, tell me what you see
Every lawn is green
Every house obscene
Every face is wrinkle-free
Don't it all sound perfect?
{KATIE]
No
[DORIS]
Yeah, it does, don’t lie
[KATIE]
Yeah
[ANGELA]
You can't fight it or hide it
So why try?
[DORIS]
Why try?
[ANGELA]
Just pop a couple Xanax
[DORIS]
Two!
[ANGELA]
Your worries fade
When life gives you Lululemons, have some Lululemonade
Just kick back and relax, that's the Westport way
Have the help bring you snacks on a Westport tray
Hit the gym
[DORIS]
Get a tan
[ANGELA]
Do a tennis pro
The world is your oyster once you go full Westport
[DORIS]
You gotta go full Westport
[KATIE, DORIS, AND ANGELA]
Go full Westport
(Spoken interlude)
[KATIE]
Right, if no one appreciates anything that I do
[ANGELA]
If?
[KATIE]
Then I will do things I appreciate
[DORIS]
Welcome to the neighborhood
[ANGELA]
Finally!
(Song)
[KATIE]
Sleeping in on weekdays
[HOUSEWIVES]
Always!
[KATIE]
Ditching work as well
[HOUSEWIVES]
Oh, wow!
[KATIE]
The whole carpool schedule can go to
[ANGELA, DORIS, AND HOUSEWIVES]
Wherever carpools go
[ANGELA]
Your kids take you for granted
[KATIE]
Yeah!
[DORIS]
Let’s face it, no one cares
[KATIE]
No!
[ANGELA]
And that's why God made butlers
[HOUSEWIFE 1]
Nannies
[HOUSEWIFE 2]
Tutors
[ANGELA]
And au pairs
[ANGELA AND HOUSEWIVES]
We'll do lunch and then chill
That's the Westport style
When you sign your little bill
Sign a Westport smile
[HOUSEWIFE 1]
Hit the spa
[HOUSEWIFE 2]
And Pilates
[HOUSEWIFE 3]
And the nail salon
[ANGELA]
You'll stop feeling guilty once you're gone
[ANGELA AND HOUSEWIVES]
To Westport
So why not go full Westport?
Go full Westport!
(Hook)
[DORIS]
It's the best port
It's the juice organically pressed port
Westport
It’s the best port
It’s the look amazing undressed port
It's the latest handbag-obsessed port
It’s the everyone genetically blessed port
It's a hot yoga paleo
Neverending fashion show
Why would anybody be stressed? port
(Song)
[HOUSEWIVES]
Join us and give in to the Westport life
So indulge, take a whim like a Westport wife
[ANGELA]
Why waste another minute with discontent?
[HOUSEWIVES]
You'll look back and wonder why you never went
Full Westport
(Westport, Westport)
[DORIS]
You gotta go full Westport
[ANGELA, spoken]
So?
[KATIE, spoken]
That's it, I’m gonna do it
[HOUSEWIVES]
Go full Westport
[KATIE, spoken]
And by "do it," I mean do nothing!
[ANGELA, DORIS, AND HOUSEWIVES]
Go full Westport
(Westport, Westport, Westport)
[KATIE]
It's time to go full Westport
[ANGELA AND DORIS]
It's the best port