[Verse 1] Oh, well, imagine as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor— And I can't help but to hear, no, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words "What a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding", says a bridesmaid to a waiter "And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore" [Chorus] I chimed in with a, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of— [Verse 2] Oh, well, in fact, well, I'll look at it this way I mean, technically our marriage is saved Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne Oh, well, in fact, well, I'll look at it this way I mean, technically our marriage is saved Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne [Chorus] I chimed in with a, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of— [Post-Chorus] Poise and rationality Again [Chorus] I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality I chimed in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of— [Post-Chorus] Poise and rationality Again