[Verse 1]

Sweet Jesus, please help Maria

I've tried holy water and I've tried tequila

Her skin is turning green, she's becoming more obscene

And now she sticks a crucifix up her vagina, yeah

And Maria thinks it's all so funny

All the while I know it's blasphemy

She's been pissin' on my floor, shes becoming such a whore

But I can't hate the bitch 'cause she's my honey, yeah

[Bridge]

But if she don't turn, she's gonna burn

Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause its a sin, she let that dammed thing in

And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

[Chorus]

I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs

Something has possessed my lovely wife

There's something standing close in the dark, it ain't a ghost

It's Maria, trying to take my life

[Verse 2]

Now Maria vomits and she swears

And it's creepy how she comes crawling down the stairs

Her head is spinning 'round, she's been writhing on the ground

It breaks my heart, it causes many tears

[Bridge]

But if she don't turn, she's gonna burn

Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause its a sin, she let that dammed thing in

And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

[Chorus]

I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs

Something has possessed my lovely wife

There's something standing close in the dark, it ain't a ghost

It's Maria, trying to take my life

[Verse 3]

I think she might be going straight to hell

'Cause down the steps my poor Maria fell

I gave that girl a shove, I pushed with all my love

And where I hid the body I'll never tell

[Bridge 2]

She didn't turn, she's gonna burn

Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping

'Cause it's a sin, she let that dammed thing in

And I swear she was sneaking out at night while the rest of us were sleeping

[Chorus]

I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs

That poor girl was once my lovely wife

She had no self control, may God forgive her soul

'Cause I had to take Maria's life

'Cause I had to take Maria's life

'Cause I had to take Maria's life