This song serves the same purpose as “My Name Is” from the SSLP, introducing, or in this case, re-introducing Slim Shady to the world after a lengthy hiatus.[Refrain]

Hello (Hello)

Allow me to introduce myself (Myself)

My name is

Shady

It's so nice to meet you (It's so nice to meet you)

It's been a long time (Long time)

I'm sorry I've been away so long (So long)

My name is

Shady

I never meant to leave you (I never meant to leave you)

Yeah

[Verse 1]

You see that chick in the gym, checking me out?

Any second I'm 'bout to stick her neck in my mouth

I lose a pill and I'm recklessly wreckin' the house

That was supposed to be breakfast, where the heck is it now?

There's the necklace I lost, right next to Stephanie's blouse

Man, I should check to see if my mom left any out

Nope, guess I'll re-route, maybe somewhere in the depths of the couch

Oh, jackpot, yeah—open sesame, mouth

Down the hatch, and the feeling—you can't match it

I rap-tap-tap on your door with a damn ratchet

Attack-tack-tacking a whore with a damn hatchet

A knapsack packed with like forty-some Xanaxes

Shorty, come back, I'm tryna score me some lapdances

I'm 'bout to relapse, so, baby, pour me some Jack Daniel's

Formula 44D and 40s with bad capsules

The bad apple spoils the bunch, I'm back at ya

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello"

And are you menstruating, baby? My little friend's waiting to say, "Hello"

The way your titties are wigglin' and your booty's shakin' like jello

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello", yeah

[Verse 2]

My equilibrium's off—must be the lithium

I don't need to buy any drugs, man—people give me 'em

It just becomes everyday, extra-curriculum

No reason in particular—it was strictly fun

A fifth of rum and two bottles of 151

Fifty-one people asleep in my damn living room

Excuse me, hun, but what is your name? Vivian?

I woke up next to you naked, and, uh, did we, um?

Of course, we did, but didn't I strap Jimmy, hun?

I'm looking for the torn wrapper, but there don't seem to be one

No offense, baby girl, I don't mean any harm

But disease is something I'm trying to keep my penis free from

I find the package, and I'm cool—I immediately run

Like Speedy Gonzales to see if I see anyone

Who might have a couple of 3's—I'm fiending for some

My head is pounding to the beat of the drum

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello"

And do you happen to have anything on you to make my mood mellow?

Some are oval and some are pink, some are blue and some are just yellow

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello"

[Verse 3]

Oh, those were the days, they certainly were

It's hurting me to know that I'll be closing that curtain for good

Word-word, chk-word-word, chk-word, chk-chk-word

I second that and I third, rushed to emergency surgery

To try to flush me because of the drugs that he purchased

He's no longer getting them free—hundred bucks for these Percodans

Plus, it's getting to be where he'll lustfully search the den

Pain is hitting his knee and his muscles be hurtin' him

Tirelessly on the phone trying to rustle up

Muscle relaxers for his back and a couple of Paxils

Now he's doubling backwards, and he's stumbling back

Slipped and fell, hit his back, boom, heard something go crack

Now he's up in the bathroom like he's busting a nap

Almost ended it that soon because of the fact

I'm just busting my own chops while I'm busting a rap

Resuscitated and rejuved, so fuck it, I'm back

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello"

And do you happen to have anything on you to make my mood mellow?

Some are oval and some are pink, some are blue and some are just yellow

Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say, "Hello"

[Refrain]

And so I'm saying, "Hello" (Hello)

Allow me to introduce myself (Myself)

My name is

Shady

It's so nice to meet you (It's so nice to meet you)

It's been a long time (Long time)

I'm sorry I've been away so long (So long)

My name is

Shady

I never meant to leave you (I never meant to leave you)

[Outro]

Yeah, it's like starting over

Clean slate

Ha