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Cum On Everybody

by Eminemon The Slim Shady LP (Expanded Edition)

Eminem’s official dance song from the Slim Shady LP in 1999. Some of the lyrics bear a resemblance to legendary comedian Groucho Marx’s misanthropic, self-effacing style of humor.

In the clean version of… Read More [Produced by Bass Brothers]

[Intro]

(Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha) Yo, mic check

(Woo, shit) Testing

One, two, um, twelve

What up? What up? What up? (Outsiderz)

This is my dance song, can you hear me? (Outsiderz)

(Rah Digga, Young Zee, bust it, bust it)

Alright, ayy, turn my headphones up

[Verse 1]

My favorite color is red like the bloodshed

From Kurt Cobain's head when he shot himself dead

Women all grabbin' at my shish kabab

Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve

(“I can't stand white people”)

You thought I was ill and now I'm even more so

Shit, I got full-blown AIDS and a sore throat

I got a wardrobe with an orange robe

I'm in the fourth row, signin' autographs at your show

I just remembered that I'm absent-minded

Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it

I'm freestylin' every verse that I spit

'Cause I don't even remember the words to my shit (Um, one, two)

I told the doc I need a change in sickness

And gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis

Put my LP on your Christmas gift list

You want to get high? Here, bitch, just sniff this

[Chorus]

Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)

[Verse 2]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo

I tried suicide once and I'll try it again

That's why I write songs where I die at the end

'Cause I don't give a fuck like my middle finger was stuck

And I was wavin' it at everybody, screamin', "I suck" (I suck)

I go on stage in front of a sell-out crowd

And yell out loud, "All y'all get the hell out now"

Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up, y'all, I'm sorry

(But Eminem, this is your record release party)

I'm bored out of my gourd, so I took a hammer

And nailed my foot to the floorboard of my Ford

Guess I'm just a sick, sick bastard

Who's one sandwich short of a picnic basket (I ain't got it all)

One Excedrin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet

I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage (Oh)

And if you ever see a video for this shit

I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

[Chorus]

Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)

[Verse 3]

Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit

'Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin' Beastie Boy

So I told 'em I was Mike D

They was like, "Gee, I don't know, he might be"

I told 'em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert" (Oh really?)

I'll be standin' by the Loch Ness Monster" (Okay)

Peace out (Bye)

Then I jetted to the weed house, smoked out

'Til I started bustin' freestyles, broke out

Then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick

Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick

Made a couple of crank calls collect (Brrrt)

"It's Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?"

I want to make songs all the fellas dub

And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of

So just remember, when I bomb your set

Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

[Chorus]

Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)