[Intro]

We all want love

How many single ladies out there, looking for love tonight? (Wooo!)

Yeah, woo that sadness out

There's more where that came from

Ladies, I know what you want, want, want

[Verse 1]

You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough

A feminist who likes to pay for stuff

The kind of guy that gets along with your friends

Without being attracted to any of them

A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy;

A half good, half bad, half boy

Loves your brothers, sensitive but not weak and

Is a great lover, calls your mother on the weekend

Now you might think that this guy only exists in your mind

Guess what: You're right!

If you want love, lower your expectations a few

Because Prince Charming would never settle for you

If you want love, just pick a guy and love him

And if he's got a thing for feet, say: "Fuck it, sweep me off 'em"

[Interlude]

Now the good thing is that at least men have very realistic expectations for women... He said, sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song

[Verse 2]

You want a girl that's nice, a girl that's not

Obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot

The kind of girl that you can show to your folks

Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes

A real girl, a hot girl; a really hot girl;

A brand new, really hot, real doll

Wants to impress you, doesn't care if you notice

And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with

Now you might think that this girl only exists in your mind

But she's real, but last week she died

If you want love, lower your expectations a lot

You might think your dick is a gift, I promise it's not

If you want love, just pick a girl and love her

Then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline the offer

[Bridge]

I don't want a neat freak, I don't want a slob

Somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job

'Cause I won't settle for less than perfect

We want perfect children, a perfect life

A perfect husband or a perfect wife

But deep down we know, we don't deserve it

But we all deserve love, even on the days when we aren't our best

'Cause we all suck, but love can make us suck less

We all deserve love, it's the very best part of being alive

And I would know, I just turned 25