Kefka:

(Kefka Laugh) Let’s see what we’re dealing with

A fucked-up red blob who got beat by little kids

Read my lips. Mercy is for wimps!

Feel the power of my Meteor in this total eclipse!

It’s kind of freaking funny how a fetus thinks he’s frightening

I’ll dispose this opposition with Ultima and Havoc Wing

You’ll soon be dead like Maria. Isn’t that tragic

Have fun trying to topple the wicked god of magic

Giygas:

Ah, Grrr, kefkakefkakefka

I’ll kill this Psycho Clown like how you killed Gestahl

You’re just sittin’ upon your statue Dancing Mad like the Joker

I’M THE UNIVERSAL COSMIC DESTROYER, MOTHERFUCKER

Oh, your voice, it hurts... It hurts... Just shut up, you bigot

Why arе you even trying to rap, fucking blind god idiot

Angelic, huh? That act’s all just for show

This Fallеn One shall continue his descent into the snow

Kefka:

Go abort yourself, you bitch. I’ll destroy your existence

I ruined a whole world with pure magic and persistence

I'm a god! I'm all powerful! You meaningless thing

For major ass-kicking is what the great Kefka brings

Giygas:

You’re a loose cannon! A megalomaniac of torment

I bet you wish you had friends, you’d pray to them at present

This second phase is crushing you, so go hide in your tower

Yet you cannot grasp the true form of Giygas’s power

(Did somebody say true power? MY TIME HAS COME!)

Ganon:

GANONDORF HERE TRIFORCE OF POWER IN HAND

I’m here to ascend the throne as king of the land

Are you insane, Palazzo? I’ll dispatch you myself!

Need a ride up to the North Pole? Santa has a thing for elves

Kefka you magic pussy, why don’t you whip up some decent rhymes

You’ll be slaughtered and spread out across the Temple of Time

And you, 9gig, stop fucking around and step into my dungeon

Maybe from now on you won’t get slaughtered by children

Embodiment of Evil? More like Ghost Pussy Weevil

I’ll curse you like the Deku Tree in this medieval upheaval!

Your Demise is coming close, so soon you’ll both be slain

But don’t feign to have brains or you’ll experience pain

Mother Brain:

You’re joking about brains, bitch? Don’t even start

I’ll rip you like the Triforce of Wisdom, PART BY PART

You’re the Dark Lord, Ganon? Isn’t that a bit cliche?

Yeah, you’re one to talk about Kefka here being gay

Make reality horrific? Giygas, you’re all talk

Defeat you easily? Haha! PSY BRAINSHOCK!

Oh wait, you know what? Ganon was right, you fucking homo

I’ll eradicate you all and reset you to zero

I’m smarter than any other, so it’s best you’re held back

Then like the milf I am I’ll use a Laser Brain Attack!

Try fighting with me, you’ll end up with your necks severed

Being a brain, I’m a genius! I’ll endure forever!

Eggman:

Woah, calm down there motherfucker there’s no need to get hasty

Why the hell do you get beat by a bitch that’s white and pasty?

Seriously, what are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent?

Like Samus I’ll put the smackdown on this dangerous experiment

Unfortunately for you all, defeat and you go hand in hand

When I take over you can work minimum wage at Eggman Land!

Poor Ganon can’t handle an elf who gets his power from a shape

Don’t bother trying to run from Robotnik, oh, you’ll never escape

Gigyas I don’t need to diss you, your name makes fun of itself

And you stick your Magitek up your ass and just fuck yourself

I’m bringin’ Chaos to this battle and he’s ragin’ like a stallion

So to all of you losers, don’t try messin’ with the Champion!

Blue:

Champion, bitch? Didn’t you get the fucking memo?

Step right the fuck up, I'll show you more than a demo

For the love of god, calm the hairs on your stache ’cause

I won’t be the first one that’s Blue to beat your fat ass

You look like a pedophile with your red coat and glasses

So hot I'm like a Charizard turning you into ashes

Mother Brain, I’ll shoot you down like Captain N: The Game Master

I’ll take over the Dark World! Pack your bags, you bastard

Like Mewtwo, you may be evil, but my solution’s simple, yall

I’ll catch both your fucking asses with my bag of Master Balls!

I’m the most powerful Trainer ever! Ain’t THAT swell?

BLUE MOTHERFUCKING OAK WILL BURN YOUR ASSES IN HELL

(Leam yreve retfa hsurb dna selbategev ruoy tae)

Diablo:

Hell, motherfucker? Don’t mess with my region

The seven Evils are one within me! I am Legion!

Look you little prissy bitch, Red kicked your ass at once

I’m doing the same thing once more, you Slowpoke-assed dunce

And fatty? Really? Gonna fuck shit up again?

Not even a 300 IQ is going to aid you towards a win

You’re never gonna win, Brain, and everybody knows

That you’re completely screwed when you face RED LIGHTNING HOSE

Prince of Evil? You’re more like a princess

I’ll leave you in my castle like a damsel in distress

Kicking Giygas with rhyme is simply sublime

Better watch out, cuz it’s raping time

And lastly, you, frankly fucked-up McDonald

You’ll be destroyed like Tristram as events unfold

Stronger than Baal! Mephisto! Oh, you’ve made an error

You fucked with the Prime Evil? Welcome to the Realm of Terror