[Intro]

Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too

Horses, horses, horses, horses

Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling

*Gunshot*

[Verse 1: Violent J]

Santa Claus, suck my balls

Drunk as hell ringing bells at the malls

Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, and Cupid

I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh

I sat around all night under the chimney

Holdin' my sack like "Gimme gimme"

I know that he's comin', he's comin' he must

Lookin' up nuthin but rust, dust

Turn on my TV the very next day

I see you're gettin' payed, leadin' the parade

I'm that sniper on the buildin'

Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat bitch

[Chorus]

Santa Claus is a fat bitch

(Santa Claus the fat bastard)

Another year and I ain't get shit

(Another year I ain't get shit)

If I hear him land on my roof

(Ooh my undertaker)

I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]

Yeah I got somthin' to say about St. Nick

Fuck that ho, he never brought Shaggs shit

No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal

So I eat it, 'cause there ain't nuttin in the cupboards

So I'll be quick, quick and brief

Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth

I got mine kicked, kicked out my mouth

I need a few new ones, could you help me out?

Should've known I'd get the short end of the stick

No kind of gift, I didn't get shit

Some say I was bad, but that wasn't it

It's all because Santa was a fat bitch

[Chorus]

Santa Claus is a fat bitch

(Santa, fuck you and [?])

Another year and I ain't got shit

(Another year I ain't get shit)

If I hear him land on my roof

(Bi-i-itch, you're gonna die)

I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Interlude]

"Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolph! That's the ghetto!

Ho-ho, those boys and girls, they don't deserve anything."

[Verse 3: Violent J]

Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been?

I see you got cookies and milk on your chin

I guess you had time to collect your ends

You always been down for your rich friends

But Rudolph, he don't bring his sleigh my way

Nothing but coal and dirt for little J

I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft

You need to lose some of that fat ass, uh

All the little rich boys, they gettin' paid

Counting the toys and ducats they made

Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit

I'm a kill that fat bitch

[Chorus]

Santa Claus is a fat bitch

(He ate too much McDonald's)

Another year and I ain't get shit

(Mrs. Claus [?])

If I hear him land on my roof

(Fat fat bitch in the big red coat)

I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Verse 4: Shaggy 2 Dope]

T'was the night before Christmas, and everything's wack

Not a creature stirring but a fucking rat

I ain't hearin' jingle bells, I ain't hearin' nothin'

Ain't smelling no turkey, sure as hell ain't no stuffing

All night I prayed, wished and prayed

That fat motherfucker would swing my way

And drop off soldiers and rubber balls

But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers

Yep, yep I knew it! The shaft again

And again, and again, and again

Every year I wake up to the same old shit

House empty, no sign of the fat bitch!

[Chorus]

Santa Claus is a fat bitch

(Santa Claus is a fat bitch)

Another year and I ain't get shit

(Another year I ain't get shit)

If I hear him land on my roof

(If I hear him land on my roof)

I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

Santa Claus is a fat bitch

(Santa Claus is a fat bitch)

Another year and I ain't get shit

(I ain't ge-et shi-it)

If I hear him land on my roof

(Ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof)

I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

[Sample: Buck Owens]

He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile

A bright red hat you can see for a mile

A bag full of goodies and a great big grin

Here comes Santa Claus again