“Star Treatment” is the opener to the Arctic Monkeys' sixth studio album, co-produced by Alex Turner himself for the first time.

Turner personifies a washed up lead of the fictional band The Martini Police… Read More [Verse 1]

I just wanted to be one of The Strokes

Now look at the mess you made me make

Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase

Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway

I'm a big name in deep space, ask your mates

But golden boy's in bad shape

I found out the hard way that

Here ain't no place for dolls like you and me

Everybody's on a barge

Floating down the endless stream of great TV

1984, 2019

[Pre-Chorus]

Maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s

Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles

Karate bandana, warp speed chic

Hair down to there, impressive moustache

Love came in a bottle with a twist-off cap

Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap

[Chorus]

So who you gonna call?

The Martini Police

Baby, that isn't how they look tonight, oh no

It took the light forever to get to your eyes

[Verse 2]

I just wanted to be one of those ghosts

You thought that you could forget

And then I haunt you via the rear view mirror

On a long drive from the back seat

But it's alright, 'cause you love me

And you recognise that it ain't how it should be

Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly

So pull over, I know the place

Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?

What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?

Jukebox in the corner, "Long Hot Summer"

They've got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance

What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?

[Pre-Chorus]

Oh, maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s

Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer

Elevator down to my make-believe residency

From the honeymoon suite

Two shows a day, four nights a week

Easy money

[Chorus]

So who you gonna call?

The Martini Police

So who you gonna call?

The Martini Police

Oh, baby, that isn't how they look tonight

It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes

[Outro]

And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?

It's the star treatment

Yeah, and as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?

It's the star treatment

It's the star treatment

The star treatment