[Verse 1]

I break the silence with my voice

And everyone turns 'round

To see the source of all the noise

And here I stand

It's not as though I mean to upset you

With the things I say and do

I should know better, but I said so anyway

It's easier to play a part

And read your lines

Than freely speak what's in your heart

And in your mind

Is it me

Who says these things that so offend you?

Inappropriate and loud

I'd say I'm sorry, but it's

Hard to speak with both feet in my mouth

[Chorus]

All hail the king of dunces

You best hold on

I'm opening up my mouth

Bring out the maypole

And tie me up and shut me out

Devil knows what possessed me

To shoot my arrow straight into the sky

String me to the mast and

Hoist me up and hang me high

I put no blame on you

I brought this all upon myself

It's just this thing I do

At times like this

I wish I was someone else

[Verse 2]

There's a lever inside my head

Between my mouth and my brain

Keeps me from hearing what I've said

'Til it's too late

Now it's too late

Smear my lips with Vaseline

Because I'm a vocal libertine

I try explaining but then

Even I'm not quite sure what I mean

[Chorus]

All hail the king of dunces

You best hold on

I'm opening up my mouth

Bring out the maypole

And tie me up and shut me out

Devil knows what possessed me

To shoot my arrow straight into the sky

String me to the mast and

Hoist me up and hang me high

I put no blame on you

I brought this all upon myself

It's just this thing I do

At times like this

I wish I was someone else

[Verse 3]

I don't know what to say

I was only trying to make you smile

And bring some needed levity

To your world for a while

I never meant to make you cry

But I did it all by myself

It's just this thing I do

At times like this

I wish I was someone else

[Chorus]

All hail the king of dunces

You best hold on

I'm opening up my mouth

Bring out the maypole

And tie me up and shut me out

Devil knows what possessed me

To shoot my arrow straight into the sky

String me to the mast and

Hoist me up and hang me high

[Outro]

All hail the king of fools

This boy's been bad

Let's keep him after school

Send me to the blackboard

And write a hundred times "I am the dunce"

Devil knows what possessed me

To shut my mind and open up my mouth

String me to the anchor

And watch me drown in myself