I was runnin' through the summer rain

Tryin' to catch the evenin' train

And kill that old familiar pain

Weavin' through my tangled brain

When I tipped my bottle back

I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That policeman said Mr. Cool

If you're ain't drunk then you're a fool

I said if that's against the law

Tell me why I never saw

A man locked in that jail of yours

Who wasn't just as lowdown poor as me

Well that was when someone turned out the lights

And I wound up in jail to spend the night

And dream of all the wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well I woke up next morning

Feelin' like my head was gone

And like my thick old tongue

Was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong

And I told that man I'd sell my soul

For somethin' wet and cold as that old cell

That kindly jailer grinned at me

All eaten up with sympathy

Then poured himself another beer

And came and whispered in my ear

'If booze was just a dime a bottle

Boy, you couldn't even buy the smell'

I said I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town

But it takes more than that to bring me down down down

'Cause there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well they finally came and told me

They was a-gonna set me free

And I'd be leavin' town

If I knew what was good for me

I said it's nice to learn that

Everybody's so concerned about my health

I said I won't be leavin'

No more quicker than I can

'Cause I've enjoyed about as much of this

As I can stand

And I don't need this town of yours

More than I've never needed nothing else

'Cause there's still a lotta drinks that I ain't drunk

Lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk, oh yeah

Lord there's still so many lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds