[CHARLIE, spoken]

Okay, I've got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time

And I feel like you weren't hearing me before

So here it goes, ahem

[CHARLIE]

I know Hell's population is out of control

It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll

If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls

At my Hazbin Hotel

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!

Right, extermination

[CHARLIE]

I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year

And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here

If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!

You can wave that chore farewell

It'll be a happy day in He—

[ADAM]

Let me stop you right there

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Oh

[ADAM]

Save us all precious time

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Okay

[ADAM]

If what you're suggesting is letting them climb

Up the ladder, oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Well, uh

[ADAM]

Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates

'Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not

Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in the pot

'Cause the rules are black and white

There's no use in tryin' to fight it

They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Okay, but—

[ADAM]

Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath

[CHARLIE, spoken]

*nervous laugh*

[ADAM]

Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death?

Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Well actually, if you take a look—

[ADAM]

Fair is fair, an eye for an eye

[ADAM, ANGELS]

And, when all's said and done (Said and done)

There's the question of fun (Ah-ah)

And for those of us with divine ordainment

Extermination is entertainment!

Bow-now-now-now-now, guitar solo, fuck yeah!

Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Oh my god

[ADAM & ANGELS]

Hell is forever, whether you like it or not

Had their chance to behave better

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Where did all you people come from?

[ADAM & ANGELS]

Now they boil in the pot

'Cause the rules are black and white

There's no use in tryin' to fight it

They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again

[ADAM]

Fuckin', Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot

So give up your dumb endeavor, 'cause you don't have a shot

Long as I got your attention

I guess I should probably mention

That we've made the determination

To move up the next extermination

[CHARLIE, spoken]

What?

[ADAM]

Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts

I know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in six months!

[CHARLIE, spoken]

Um, wait, didn't you—

Ugh, shit!