[Intro: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]

Uh, uh

Yeah

Freaky tales

ICP

True stories

Short version

Real shit

The Mighty Death *Pop*

Check it out

Woo!

[Verse 1: Violent J, DJ Clay]

I met this girl, her name was Joan

She loved the way I rocked on the microphone

When I met Joan, I took her home

She was just like a doggy all on my bone

There's another girl, her name was Pat

She wasn't just thick, naw, the bitch was fat

She had pierced nipples and a Twiztid tat

In between her butt cheeks she packed a gat

I know this bitch named Rebecca Lou

She could make you nut in a second or two

She had a wicked surprise you don't expect her to

If you hit the shit raw, she just infected you

There's another freak, her name was Pearl

Bitch loved nuts like a hungry squirrel

I was tapped out, but she tagged her girl

Nutty nuttin' again in a new neden world

I met this chick named Rosalina

Had to know her scent, that ho was subpoena

She took off her clothes as soon as I seen her

She had me so stiff she froze my wiener

I knew this girl named Isabelle

Bitch wore a veil from Israel

She was a freaky ass jizzabel

But her neden smelled like a bowl of instant hell

Party night late fix

Met this bitch named Honey Tricks

She had five kids at twenty-six

But the bitch'll get pregnant just hummin' dicks

There's a titty dancer, her name was Bri

She had some good pussy, and it came for free

Not for everybody, just mainly me

I'm a minute man, bitch, 'cause I aim to be

I met this ho named Sweet Denise

Liberian Girl, but the freak's a beast

Chained me to the wall, leather and lace

She wanted me to pee all over her face

Snow bunny weekend, ski slope

Met a sweet church girl said her name was Hope

At first she was a prude, cleaner than soap

When I left, she was a nympho hooked on dick dope

I met this young chick named Janelle

They say she was a loony, but I could not tell

She was cool as hell, it all went well

But there's more to her story like Dave Chappelle

There's another girl, I call her Boo

Cork in the bunghole is all we do

First she like to feed me some barbecue

After that we smoke some weed and sniff some glue

I met this girl, her name was Lois

Me and Shaggs both, she loved to blow us

The very first time she ain't even know us

She swore she had skills and begged to show us

I once met a bitch named crazy Claire

She seen more dicks than Hanes underwear

I would take a dune, she liked to stare

She definitely had screws loose up there

Skater chick, Lisa Lou

I filled her up quicker than pizza stew

She likes nut on her belly, and she eats it, too

She was so small, like three foot two

I met this girl, her name was Heather

She was a thug bitch stuck on a tether

She'd have me come by and bring her shit

But never did I leave without slanging her dick

I knew a chick cop named Karen Cass

She had a Bang! Pow! Boom! tat on that ass

A 'lette in disguise, she was family

And always let Juggalos off scot-free

She was a freak, she made gansta love

And liked it when I fucked her with her billy club

We cranked Shangri-La fucking in her cop car

She responded to the scene with nut in her hair

Once met a queen named Maureen

Neden so foul, we had to be quarantined

It burned through her fabric and tore her jeans

Like chemical bombs of war, it seems

I know this bitch named Betrina Ross

Belly so big that the pussy was lost

I dove into find it at any cost

Found something else, and her salad got tossed

Met this hottie, her name was Sharon

Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin'

Blonde pig tails, and she liked fat boys

I hit it so hard, her ass made a clap noise

She had another friend, red hair, fake tits

I hit it so deep, I thought we had eight kids

Her name was Amber, but we called her red

The only thing wrong was she never gave head

I knew a mouth doctor named Ugly Anne

Ass like a hippo, from here to Japan

But when she gave head, I could barely stand

She got the four year waiting list in demand

I met this skank, her name was May

She used to blow my home boy DJ Clay (What up doe?)

She would come through any time of the day

5:30 in the early morning like, "Hey!"

I met a cheerleader named Becky Mennard

She was a daddy's girl, took me out on his yacht

She was a bitch, yes, but yet she was hot

She let me hit my wang thang on the G-spot

There's another girl from the southwest side

Gunshot wounds on her neck, she almost died

But she lived, God let her slide

And now she's sittin' on my dick, and it's a long ride

I once knew a rapper named Miss O'Neal

She couldn't rhyme for shit but had sex appeal

I whipped out my mic, and down she kneel

I spit a hot sixteen, a verse I could feel

Gale from Melvindale, we met online

She was lookin' for some penis and sat on mine

She was eight cents, not quite a dime

But still memorable enough to make this rhyme

Big, thick, strong, and built

Female wrestler, Lumberjill

She could crack a walnut in her neden for real

But she didn't, I told her lay back and chill

I once met a witch named Azreal

She rides a broom stick, and she lives in Hell

I told her try my stick out, 'cause it's the deal

She possessed my package so it fits the bill

Olivia had a mouth like a machine

Called The Ejaculator, this bitch is a fiend

Stick in your shit and like you've never seen

She twists, turns, sucks, pulls, and spits you clean

There's a street walker on Central Ave

Her name was Cinnamon, a spice I had to have

I paid her, scoop her up, and drew her a bath

Scrubbed her neden clean, and you do the math

There's a hot wife named Dianne Faye

She never goes out, work gets in the way

It's a fantasy of hers to fuck Violent J

She said it all in a letter I got Friday

I met her at Walmart doin' her chores

Family restroom, behind closed doors

I hit it on the counter while the water pours

The same way I did it with that daughter of yours

Freaky, deaky

Met somebody else ho that was sneaky

We fucked in the shower right at his place

I nutted in the same rag he washes his face

There's another girl, her name was Flo

She was missin' teeth like my homie Lay Lo

She liked to bone in the front window

So all her neighbors could see the bitch go

The cops soon showed up, but even so

We wasn't breakin' any laws, that you know

We was inside behind her door

So bitches take a picture, it'll last you more

Hound dog, groupie

Met a thuggalette named Julie

If I paint my face, she would blow my meat

I told her close her eyes and painted hers with skeet

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J, Ice-T]

A hooker tossed my salad and scuffed her knees

She then took a breather and called Sharice

Both of them hoes tag-teamed my meat

I turned 'em out so good they had to pay me

The very same night, I met with Sky

Not quite a midget but about dick high

No drank needed, she was already fly

If you keepin' a record, I scored me a tri

Early next morning, got a call from Kim

Bitch woke me up at like six AM (Six in the mornin')

She was comin' down from a six-day binge

Fucked to sleep, woke her up, and we fucked again

Met an old flame, her name Chanel

She loved this dick in her neden canal

Up and down my back with her fingernails

She jumped on the phone and called some pals

They was gonna meet us at a quarter to twelve

I'm thinkin' three bitches, this is gonna be swell

But when they showed up, dudes, what the hell?

Six eyes got swelled, and I'm back in jail

Ho, skank, trick and sluts

Come and get it! These dick and nuts

Don't be scared if it fits your butts

Alison, Natalie, and all chicks, what

I banged this one bitch, Hilary Duff

It wasn't really her, but who gives a fuck?

Her name was, Helen but close enough

It didn't matter to me when she was in the buck

This chicken named Shawna don't front for shit

She only come around to score this dick

I don't play guitar, I don't sing a lick

I just make the bed squeak hard, and that's it

I once met a freak named Laura

If you ain't named Shaggy, she'll ignore ya

I blew her out back stage, at the Agora

But it was Dougie in the paint, ya dumb whore, ya

Now I see nothin' wrong with hoggin'

And Pam loves food over joggin'

Feed her good, she'll be bobbin' on your meat stick

Pam Pam hot damn, she's a freaky chick

Freaknik '96

Met this ho named Shawna Licks

She was an escort who loved turnin' tricks

And I soon found out she was burnin' dicks

Met a cowgirl named Rachel Lee

I stepped to her, then she had a date with me

She was rodeo champ, and she rode on me

And got bumped into a tree when I unloaded my skeet

Once upon a time, I met Nadeen

She was forty-two, and I was only eighteen

She liked to freak, she's just a fiend

It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans

I met this hottie named Doctor Lil'

She had a nice neden with a spot to fill

I dumped in her box 'cause she was on the pill

Bumpin' EPMD's "You Gots to Chill"

Knew a hot chick from south of Spain

She was so pretty with a mouth to bang

I loved it when she let her titties out to hang

But Rosetta moved home, and I'm out in the rain

I want a big freak, fat and sloppy

I kick on back and watch her mop me

Two tons of fun, big Mamma Jamma

A country girl from Alabama

[Verse 3: Violent J]

I once met a hooker, she did it for free

On the Foothill bus number forty-three

All the way in the back she was workin' me

I had my big beatbox, and I was jammin' the beat

There's a fine bitch sittin' on my face

Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace

Sweet honey-licious, I enjoyed the taste

But I almost suffocated passed out in place

Met a fine dime, you know my type

Summer the plumber, she'll unclog your pipe

I made my appointment for a Saturday night

Her ass crack showed, but that was alright

I once knew a dime, she knew kung fu

I told her bring a friend, and Boo brung two

Dana came through with Amy and Sue

They pleased me 'til my dick sneezed goo, ha-choo

There's another shorty, her name was Kay

From that Letters to Cleo band, back in the day

She fell off hard, should've seen it my way

Fuck Cleo, she should've sent them letters to J

Porn star freak, sweet Bri O'Neil

She looks good, and her titties are real

I swam through the pussy like a Navy SEAL

But then I woke up, so lame I feel

Susan came over on a Ninja bike

She was a dyke, but my dick she liked

She pulled her leather pants off, and I was psyched

I banged her neden up, to get home she hiked

Met a lot of freaks in my lifespan

Freaked one night with a hottie named Cam

She had more weed than Amsterdam

I blew a shotgun with her neden lips, damn

Cam got me so high, fuck comin' down

I called this goofy bitch named Sassy the Clown

She had big balloon titties and a painted-on frown

She left paint all on my dick, but I'm down

There's another ho, her name was June

I hit it so hard, she took a dune

Left scratches on my back like a wild raccoon

I can say that I won't be back any time soon

Met a fine bitty named Dinah

She was a built little freak from China

Do I wanna hit it? Well, kinda

Even from the back I don't mind ya

Late that night, the doorbell rang

The Ferris twins wanna do that thang

Dinah just left, don't know if I can hang

But I'm damn sure about to try, bang bang

I met this chick named Maria Lay

She was a Girl Scout leader during the day

At night, she in my ear hole, purrin' away

I told her trim her shit, it's too much fur in the way

There's a housewife who lives next door

She likes to come by and have sex on the floor

She makes lemonade that she sets on the porch

She cheats on her man 'cause he's such a dork

What was I to do when I met Sue?

Six times Miss Booty of Kalamazoo

Ass like Nicki Minaj plus two

I don't even know how my dick gets through

I met an English girl named Kiki

Crooked and sneaky but freaky

Both her nipples burn like a tiki

I nutted on her face 'cause she was cheeky

Freak show sexpot

I met this bitch named Alexa

She had two pussy holes, take your pick

To get the last drop out, she'll shake your dick

Micky Mouse Club chick Brenda Song

I see her on TV, my dick grows long

I don't wanna diss her or say nothin' wrong

'Cause maybe one day I could peel her thong

I got a call from Roxanne Roxanne

She's a couple blocks down, gettin' a tan

She's pretty cool, but I feel boxed in

I hit it one time, now she's locked in

She likes the way I hit it, how smoothly I did it

I even ate her booty out, fuck it, I'll admit it

She fell in love, but I was just drunk

Now she hounds so hard, I think I'm gettin' punked

Met a girl named Nina, or shit, was it Tina?

A thick little junkie from Pasadena

I thought she was Snooki first time I seen her

Didn't know if I wanted to fuck her or beat her

I'm an asshole, ask Francine

I took her out to dinner and then dancing

Later on we was fucking, it all went wrong

I hit it from behind and called her Brenda Song

[Verse 4: Shaggy 2 Dope]

I met this bitch from Compton, Cal

She was a Crip, and her name was Val

She tattooed my name right across her neden

I never called back, she wanna stomp my head in

There's another girl, her name's Michelle

Her booty was bigger than a tail on a whale

When I freaked Michelle, I freaked her well

Her pussy got hotter than the flames in hell

Wheezy from the 5-0-3

She was an acrobat and loved to dive on me

Her neden was small, but her titties was huge

She was quick to lick every last drip of dick splooge

There was one time I undressed Vanessa

Her booty fell out bigger than the dresser

Between her ass cheeks was her home girl Tessa

She must've sat on her and forgot nonetheless-er

Tessa was a twig, Vanessa was big

You wouldn't believe the stupid shit we did

Once we was done, two became one

As Tessa slid back in where she came from, um

I once met a bomb chick named Swan

She had her iPod on bumpin' The Calm, um

We got our date on, and it was napalm, um

Gave me a hummer at Al-Wissam, son

I was at the bar when I met Rain

She took me in the girls' room and gave me brains

Then on my wang she rubbed cocaine

I hit it in her ass, and she felt no pain

Later that same night, I met Stace

The one-eyed snake, nutted in her face

We fucked like rabbits all over the place

And when the tag came, I was gone no trace

When I got home, peep what I did

Young Christine was watchin' my kid

I paid her with cash and then some dick

She stayed and made breakfast before she split

I was in church when I met Desire

She sounded so good leadin' the choir

She said she had more talents I would admire

And my dick soon found out she was no liar

I once met a sweetie named Sherry

She was so hot it was scary

It was trimmed perfect, nothin' hairy

All the way to my balls, dick buried

Sherry fucked nice, but the head was shotty

She hooked me up with a pro named Dottie

Who had a hog's face and a penguin's body

But she made me cum quicker than a Maserati

[Verse 5: Violent J]

I met an ice skater named Annie

Her neden tastes sweeter than candy

Her flexibility came in handy

We both loved to 69 somethin' dandy

I've fucked hotties all across America

But never met a bitch like Erica

She looks so fine, people stare at her

At the mall we did a butt naked caricature

She was a beauty queen but loved to cause a scene

At only eighteen she was hellified mean

I finally told her fuck off and left her on the scene

Later seen her getting peed on in a magazine

I bumped into this freak named Trisha

She was part of the Michigan Militia

She would always plot for somethin' to explode

But all she ever got was me and my load (Sk-ah)

I met a lunatic named Jackie

Every time she got horny, she would slap me

Somethin' about causin' pain made her happy

She said soft love makin' was sappy

So I got with it and choked the slut

Headbutted her face and punched her in the gut

Suplexed the ho and then stretched her mo'

She screamed butt naked and bolted out the do'

Gale and April, two big fans

Always flashing titties way up in the stands

What you tryna do, boo? Let's make plans

My dick and balls package is in your hands

Lindsay girl from Syracuse

I'm diggin' everything in your pair of shoes

I'm fallin' so hard I need a parachute

I got you a banana and a pair of fruit (Boing, uh)

I met this girl, her name was Tess

In only ten minutes she was out of her dress

She was on drugs, and her hair was a mess

But the way she caressed my meat was the best

With such finesse and not a damn thing less

She even let it rest between her chest breast

And right before it bust up in her love nest

She kissed it with zest and passed the big test

[Verse 6: Shaggy 2 Dope]

I met an old lady named Olga B

Her pussy smelled like a bowl of potpourri

She knitted me a quilt, and we sipped tea

But she only wanted dick hole from me

There's another freak named Sally May

I met her ass sleepin' in an alleyway

She was a bum, but that was just fine

'Cause underneath her rag coat, the bitch was a dime

Basketball player named too-tall Lynn

She was a skinny string bean, six foot ten

I slam dunked her neden and shattered the rim

My boys laughed but it really didn't matter to them

To get topped off, I had to climb a ladder

Things went south though when she got fatter

Her knees went bad, and then she got sadder

She moved to Belize and told me to scatter

I knew a dick sucker named Vacuum Betty

She would blow your dick even when you ain't ready

As soon as you call, before you hang up the phone

Your dick's in her mouth, and she's blowin' your bone

Cherry, Cherry, strawberry shake

How many licks of the tongue does it take?

Before my candy cane starts to break

But I love the way, make no mistake

I once met a bitch from London, France

Her name was Minnie, and she loved to dance

I was so geeked, I cum in my pants

But she was always good to give another chance

Freak named Shannon, such a sinner

She smokes that pipe, and she's gettin' thinner

Shannon is cool, but her mind is gone

One fat rock, and it's goin' on

The Bella Twins, Brie and the other

Hit it so hard, tryna make 'em a mother

They both freaked me down including each other

And then fight about which one is my lover

[Verse 7: Violent J]

I once knew a hottie named Velvet Sky

She was with my homie, but I had to try

She freaked me down so hard I started to cry

She never called back, and I don't know why

Leanne from Pakistan

She never has a problem when I pack it in

She's snackin' on my nutsack, cacklin'

Nutted in her ass crack, and I'll be back again

I met a movie star named Hayden

Like a paparazzi, I was waitin'

She came out the party, I stepped with game

A half an hour later she was screamin' my name

As I put it to her, my dick was goin' through her

I blew her neden out deeper than a sewer

She rode on me, we blowed on tree

She begged me to stay, but I rolled on free

There's another girl, her name was Judy

Eighty-five percent of this bitch was booty

To wax every square inch, that's my duty

It don't matter, but thankfully she a cutie

Hot broad named Jo-Jo

Up and down on my knob like a yo-yo

Faster and faster like go, ho

'Til my nut came shootin' like oh, oh

Look at this bitch from Miami

In a hot pink thong named Randi

Fuckin' on the beach, pussy got sandy

I took the pass option, went and got Mandy

Mandy was young, that I could tell

Met her workin' drive-thru at Taco Bell

First time she blew me, uh, not so well

But this last time baby was hot as Hell

There's a fat hottie named Pamelo

I was mad attracted to her cameltoe

She was so slammin' she had to know

Climbed on top of her belly, and I jammed it slow

I knew a red-headed hottie named Harriott

We was at the penthouse in a Marriott

She had a flamin' hot red hairy spot

But I cooled it off good with my cherry pop

NYC, Ecstasy

She bought me a drink and sat next to me

She pulled my dick out my pant leg sexually

She was a call girl, for me though, the sex was free

Matter of fact, she writes checks to me

When we ain't fuckin', she's textin' me

She's on my dick hard, it never gets to me

I just give her this pipe, the best of me

[Verse 8: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]

I met a hooker, her name was Meg

She had a fat ass but was missin' a leg

I wanted to hit, but I refused to beg

Her neden was bald and smelled like a fried egg

There's another queen, her name's Darlene

Her nipples were sweeter than a jelly bean

She looked so stacked in her painted-on jeans

I called her a goddess like Charlie Sheen

Freaked one night with a chick named Roe

She kept her cell phone in her cameltoe

Somebody blew it out before me, though

When I was up in it, I didn't even know

Neden tatted, pierced, and shaved

I met a punk rocker, said her name was Jay

She said a golden shower is how she played

Her pee sprayed out like lemonade

Fuck that, I just won't get laid

If that's what you teachin', I flunk that grade

I ain't havin' that even if you paid

I blew her mouth out like a hand grenade

I met this honey, her name was Bunny

She was from Brooklyn, and she called me Dunny

She blew my dick like its nose was runny

The ass was worth its weight in money

Freaky Dee worked at Pizza Hut

A freaky slut 'cause she eats your butt

I seen her digits carved into a stall

She came right over and gargled my balls

I bumped into this girl, her name was Rosalita

We hit the hotel and had it goin' on

Holiday Inn until the break of dawn

When I took baby home, I freaked her mom

Late night sex with Lexi

My dick grew harder than a can of Pepsi

When the bitch nutted, it was like epilepsy

I knocked her boots back home to Poughkeepsie

I met a fine flower, her name was Laverne

I hit it for an hour, my dick was stern

With nothin' but power, my engine turned

Then it got sour, dried up, and burned

I met a giddy broad named big Joelle

She loves suckin' dick hole quick as hell

She love it when my dick grow thick and swell

But then it shoot, spit, turn weak and frail

I met an angel named sweetie Mirah

Her neden hole taste like key lime pie

Up and down, all around, suckin' me dry

My sweet butterfly got nut in her eye

Miss No-Name California hottie

Asked me to sun tan lotion her body

Is she playin'? She must be kiddin'

I slipped my fingers up into her neden

At first, she resisted, and then she insisted

Finally pulled my hand out and kissed it

Took me to her hotel, few words said

Stranger lovin', we broke the bed

Meth head Beth, took her on a date

She was eighteen going on fifty-eight

I couldn't hit it, though, I did debate

But her mugly face was just too great

[Verse 9: Violent J]

Plus size model named Carol

Her belly was bigger than a barrel

She would throw me around like a rag doll

She goes out with some other fag now

I met another girl, her name was Bloom

Some poor sucker would be her groom

I put my foot in her neden, and it still had room

Her shit was so blew-out we call her kaboom

There's a fine ho named Coconut

She'll make you mad enough to choke the slut

She humps so rough she broke your nut

Then she'll make it up to ya, let you poke her butt

Sexy freak, her name was Fox

That chick in high school everybody jocks

Now she's lettin' me bang her box

I couldn't find a rubber, I used my socks

There's a find thing named Morgan

A gothic freak who plays the organ

Black fingernails, black clothes, black hair

But up under there, hot pink thong-wear uh

Met Lynn at the water park

Off the diving board, I heard her fart

Her cheeks turned red, I said, "Worry not"

I was more concerned with that furry spot

There's another girl, her name was Rita

Baby thought I might mistreat her and beat her

I told her like this: she can suck my Peter

Or either go home, 'cause I knew I didn't need her

Three weeks ago, I met this freak

She followed me around like Mary's sheep

I hid around the corner, and when she came

I grabbed her by the arm, and I asked her name

She said her name was Nora, I could see her aura

Her neden was a forest, and my dick was an explorer

I truly did adore her, I could not ignore her

Kept a pair of her soiled panties hidden in my drawer

I met a little squirrel named Sandy Cheeks

I chased that neden 'round town for weeks

Her nipples were crooked, and her booty hole leaks

But that be the haps fuckin' with sewer freaks

I once met a nurse said her name was Peach

Her face was hit, looked a lot like Screech

Her body was the hottest on the Florida beach

Her titties were so fine I spent an hour on each

Look who it is, Vivian

The baddest dick rider in Michigan

As soon as you nut you wanna hit again

And she'll work your stick into oblivion

Oh my god, here comes Heidi

In her yellow panties, see-through nightie

She'll make your limp dick strong and mighty

But her voice sounds like MC Shy D

I got a phone call from Jasmine

She was a porn star but a has-been

She was a no tan pasty white chalky ho

Livin' in Mexico doin' a donkey show

Aloha, Lola from Oahu

I thought I didn't, but I got to

She had a thick bush, but I shot through

She claims I ate it, but it's not true

I had a stalker named Maddy

A short stout plump little fatty

She parks outside in her caddy

And wants my physique like badly

I bring home hoes, and she runs 'em off

And dresses like a palm tree when I play golf

I finally decided I would stuff that muff

One good plow, and she had enough

[Verse 10: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]

I met this cougar named Alicia Burn

She was well-equipped to unleash your sperm

She fucked so tough, she would tweak your perm

Drop to her knees and freak your worm

Sugar delight

Friday night

It's goin' down

Wicked clown

Two days ago, I met this gal

She bought fake titties at a rummage sale

One of them was flat, and that was stale

But she offered some tail, I think I shall

Hollered at this girl, folks called her Peg

Body was shaped kind of like a egg

I was ten pumps in, of course from behind

Snapped the rubber off and busted on her spine

Met another dame named Ricky Jones

I love the way she screams her freaky moans

Ass like a Clydesdale this bitch owns

I would bust my nut and feel it in my bones

Big broad bitch named Baby Barb

As everywhere, packed full of lard

Titties tatted up with Joker Cards

After I'd nut, my dick stayed hard

Met an Amish girl named Mary-Anne

She liked my meat, no vegetarian

Homemade wine, we drank Sherry, and

We fucked like hogs, it was scary, man

Heat sweat, hot and sticky

Met this thing named Tricky Vicky

She loved to play a game called lick the dicky

On top of my mushroom tip a hickey

Ricki Lake, talk show host

At one time she was known coast-to-coast

We drank all night, to my dick we toast

Brag I will, and I'm quick to boast

She liked it when I licked the most

Took her out to eat, we ate pig roast

That's her tongue on the tip of my post

I killed that neden, now it's a ghost

Ninth grade teacher, Miss Malade

I met her years later after I got paid

She took me home, overnight I stayed

We fucked all night as the Beach Boys played

I like big asses, big as the moon

I met big mama named Giant June

She had more ass than her panties had room

I laid underneath as she loomed with doom

She sat on my dick, and the bed went boom

My scrotum popped as you might assume

Too much weight, bendin' my broom

I'm buried in ass, or is it my tomb?

Fine ass prom queen Jillian

Her neden was worth a million

I killed that pussy, and I'd kill it again

She loved my little buddy Gilligan

Last name Kim, first name Gale

She could make my dick grow hard as a nail

I won't tell a lie, though, the sex was stale

'Til I corked that booty, the holy grail

I delivered my dick like urgent mail

Her neden was open like a garbage pail

She wanted to cum, I refused to fail

Hit it hard from behind like we was in jail

[Verse 11: Violent J]

Brothel window in the front of her home

Met a fine hottie named Moanin' Joan

Her lips were injected with silicone

But way too much, and it's killin' my bone

I like fake titties but prefer the real

Skintight clothes, mini skirts, and heals

Wild Wanda with flirt appeal

She jacks my wang 'til it squirts her meal

Pop star Rihanna and Katy Perry

Both hoes look good enough to marry

Lady Gaga looks more like Larry

I heard she has nuts, big and hairy

Kinky freaks Nessa and Nan

They want whips and chains and S&M

They don't even want you kissin' them

But I make love and don't mess with them

I like to hump, and hug and stroke

I ain't out here tryin' to get choked

See me if you want them nedens poked

And I like havin' my penis smoked

Five months ago, I met this dame

I have to admit I never asked her name

She took it in her mouth, all the same

Her pigtails spun every time I came

I met a vixen named Dorothy Zoe

Back in the day, she was a dorky hoe

Her booty got bigger and bigger some mo'

And now that ass drags on the flo'

I once knew a freak named Jessa Jen

She was much hotter than the rest of them

I bust everywhere on her chest and chin

It didn't take long to have sex again

Debra Dunne from Dublin

She loves the fact I'm scrubbin'

She's sick of the stud she was rubbin' on

Now it's my snack she's grubbin' on

Hanky Panky Hillary

Sex so rough she's killin' me

I begged and pleaded, slow your roll

She's dominatrix, with total control

Wicked, mean-ass Kari Ann

I see you on TV, screamin' again

On Celebrity Rehab, you was a bitch

But I love the way you make your booty switch

Sex addiction, let's overdose

And fuck each other 'til we comatose

Kari Ann, let's ditch this peanut stand

And do what me and my dick have planned

Victoria Justice, much too young

But I can't tell my meat that 'cause it's sprung

Nickelodeon girl, come get some

You're finna get slimed, this time it's cum

Chris Hansen tried to shut me down

But she was eighteen 'cause I checked around

Call me sick, I'm a wicked clown

Old-ass pervert, five hundred pounds, bitch

I'm sick like syphilis

But I was just right for this chick Phyllis

She was suicidal, once slit her wrists

She's like a time bomb, don't get her pissed

Don't look now, her comes Lulu

Like Phyllis, she too was coo-coo

She made a doll of me cursed with voodoo

Don't laugh, fool, 'cause she'll do you, too

Her pussy tastes better than Granny's stew

And was a mouthful like Big League Chew

Her mouth was full when she did me, too

She swallow and never liked to spit free goo

[Verse 12: Shaggy 2 Dope]

Muscle-bound bitch, huge biceps

She jacked my meat off, several reps

When it came to the sex, I'd better last

Cum too quick and she would kick my ass

Betsy Bets, a straight-up mess

Award-winning nipples but saggy breasts

Spread that neden out smooth like butter

When I said "bend over," I did not stutter

Serenis, Serenis, she'll clean out your penis

Bitch gave brains like a certified genius

She'll tear that dick up one of the meanest

If you're talkin' booty hole, she's got the cleanest

I fucked Jolene eight times a day

Like Burger King, you can have it your way

If you're up in her guts, you might get lost

Swim through the skins and neden sauce

Late night, bump that bass

I hump on pace in and out of her face

Five AM, dick like cement

We never knew each others' name, we was both bent

There was a doggy humpin' my leg

Its owner got jealous, her name was Peg

She kicked it in the ass and checked it quick

She barked like a dog as I inject this dick

This bitch named Bubbles, fresh out on parole

I'm in my squad car on pussy patrol

I got the handcuffs and put her under arrest

And sentenced my skeet all over her breast

Call me the sultan with a harem of hoes

Nine are fine and one's head I s'pose

Ten are in my bed, we don't need clothes

I'm smothered in pussy holes down to my toes

The more the merrier, it's how I rolls

Add a bitch, another few inches it grows

I picked most these hoes up rockin' shows

Brag about it on Twitter, that's how it goes

Met a heavy chick built like a pumpkin

She loved foreplay and a lot of dry humpin'

The only bone was scabs on my meat

Bitch never even got naked, weak

Titty bar, thunder and rain

I spring hoes from Alison to Zane

And every damn last bitch in between

Led 'em back to my house with a trail of cocaine

I met a fine thang waitress at Denny's

She said come to a party at her girl Jenny's

I asked about puss, she said I could have plenty

Said, "I'll call you later" and tipped her four pennies

Gettin' topped off down 75

High on meth, she was all the way live

Slam into a wall, I barely survived

She finished my nut off before she died

Circus broad that swallowed swords

Headbutted bricks and kicked through boards

The head was incredible, and I was fluttered

I clenched my butt cheeks as I nutted

Darlin' Dairiki, I met her at a pub

She was my partner in the mile high club

We threesome'd with her sister in my hot tub

I ate they pussies like a plate of hot grub

Redneck Bo from Mississippi

Her teeth looked like she brushed with Jiffy

Her face was hit, bust my nut in a spiffy

She begged me to eat it, but that was too iffy

Her Grandpa Ken came bustin' in

So much beard, the sun missed his chin

Out the window he's shootin', but

A hottie drivin' by straight scooped me up

[Verse 13: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope]

I met this girl, her name was Jenna

My dick stood straight up like an antenna

She had a box I was dyin' to enter

But she gave head like a sad beginner

There's another freak named Sonya Soy

She had fine lumps like an Almond Joy

She liked erotica, lotions, and toys

I couldn't satisfy her, took all of my boys

There's a girl I wanna bring up again

Brenda Song with my nut on her chin

I give up, she'll never let me hit

Unless she falls off on meth and shit

Then I'll have a chance peelin' off her pants

Penis to the pussy, I slowly advance

Together we in bed, she lean to give me head

But first I eat the pussy like a Thanksgiving spread

I once knew a hottie named Cocomo

She could turn my dick into a totem pole

She cupped my balls and blowed 'em slow

I eat nedens but prefer to poke 'em though

Hot ass head turner named Pauline

She was nothin' friendly, this bitch is all mean

She could break your dick off and leave you crawling

Don't think I'm in love yet, but I'm falling

Fine ass chick, her name: Billy

Big fake titties like Jennifer Tilly

Her neden hole queefed, and I thought it was silly

But it felt nice, vibrated my willy

Sue, I wanna be pals with you

Sexy hair dresser out of Malibu

She has a couple sisters, I'ma nail 'em, too

Keep suckin', ho, I'll be sailin' goo

Lacy Lace, let's leave this place

Back to the telly, hop on my face

Pretty ass taco, how's about a taste?

She teased me with it, wild goose chase

She got me goin' loony mental case

Big-ass titties and a skinny waist

Stroke that shit, just keep the pace

It sprays like mace, my sticky paste

One fine dime, her name was Kenna

Her booty had a tattoo: "Do not enter"

She said, "Whip it out," I said, "I'm finna"

Run up in her like Joe Bruce Jenner

Centerfold named Gigi

Titties pointed out like tipis

I bust my load and have weak knees

Her nipples harder than BB's

I met a stanky thang named Natalie

She wondered if my dick was fat like me

The only way to find out: straddle me

Sent the bitch back home happily

Met a fine hottie, they called her Kat

She made my dick harder than a baseball bat

On the tip of my cap is where she sat

She spun around thrice, and my dick went splat

Fine chick, white hot Becca Lynn

Sexy ass nedens I'm wreckin' them

Big bangin' ass I'm checkin' that

Bust my nut in seconds flat

Don't look now, I'm the pussy inspector

And this here is my skeet injector

I eat hoes like Hannibal Lecter

I'm a porn star actor and director

Groupie Rachel

She was excited, okay, chill

We goin' on a date so take your pill

Make no mistake, your neden's gettin' filled

Don't be late, come get the real

The sex is great, and it's a thrill

Don't hesitate, hop on the dill

'Til the bed break and bet it will

Skeet, skeet, sweet Beverley

She could make you skeet so cleverly

She could make you skeet so heavenly

Covered in skeet, and she's seventy

That was gross, but so is Lois

We'd hit it in the ass, and then she'd blow us

Always on time, she would never ho us

She had crooked titties and loved to show us

School bus driver named Miss Manoo

Her neden hole looked like a big canoe

Her titties looked like piles of puddin' goo

I still hit it, though, wouldn't you?

Ooh, ooh, I'm nuttin' again

Thinkin' about my homegirl Lenn

She was hellafied, a perfect ten

Carmel, buttery, sulky skin

What I gotta do to get back in?

Wet like a mermaid without the fin

I've been jackin' off, tryna pretend

Showed up at her house and left with a grin

Here we go

Juggalos

You and all your pals

Rackin' up freaky tales

Two months ago, I met Blossom

She comes around at night like a possum

She's lookin' for skeet bombs, baby, I gots 'em

On top of that my dick work is awesome

There's another broad, her name was Keisha

Everything on her was her best feature

I was the pupil, and she was my teacher

She could be far, and my dick will still reach her

Right on my face, baby, I'll seat ya

Don't need a fork or a spoon to eat ya

Ninjas wanna fuck ya as soon as they meet ya

I'ma tear that ass up like some kind of creature

Thick, hot, pretty-ass Peg

Skeet on tap like I'm packin' a keg

She has a gay brother, his name was Greg

Fuckin' in the dark, someone's touchin' my leg

Cut the fuckin' lights on, he was gone

I hope it was the cat and that I was wrong

Either fuckin' way, I lost my bone

Put my fuckin' pants on, I'm goin' home

Met a stripper chick named Megan

Forty-five year old, titty-saggin'

On top of that, baby was raggin'

Even so, there I was still taggin'

[Verse 14: Shaggy 2 Dope]

Met a super hottie named Crystal Nash

She was known to pull her pistol fast

Paid young hottie well-equipped with cash

But still super freaky, she would lick your ass

Monica, an erotic hoe

Met her at the bar at the Bellagio

I thought she was an escort, but what do I know?

She was just a horny hottie, though

There's another chick, Gloria

The head was pure euphoria

The pussy-hole was heaven-sent

So tight my dick's forever bent

It's evident, she's one of the best

But nothin' like sweet Evanesce

I wiped my dick off on her dress

And left my skeet spewed on her chest

We fucked all night and never rest

Straight humped and butt fucked, never kiss

She even brought a special guest

For the three-way salad tossin' fest

Scary Jerrie, a funny broad

If you seen her give head, you would applaud

The way she bobs her neck is odd

She'll get the job done 'cause she's no fraud

Freaky little bombshell named Rakel

Red hair, big titties, Southern belle

With big buck teeth and two pigtails

We partied, I drank, and she did rails

Gangsta bitch, three time felon

Ass like two fat watermelons

I peep that shit, my dick starts swellin'

Now I'm up in that pussy dwellin'

Hangin', loiterin', holdin' it steady

Like I do with burlesque Betty

She told me call her when I'm ready

She blow my wad like pop confetti

I called and called and blew her up

That night she let me do her butt

I screamed with joy as I spew my nut

And shot my goo all on the slut

What? What? Here we go

Met an English girl named Cheerio

Only two teeth, she was a scary hoe

Most of her titties was areola

La, from the carnival bar

She sucks dicks and turned tricks out of her car

She sang for you plus played a lot of guitar

Last I heard she moved to Guadalajara

Raw Rhonda, Rhonda

Foreign, small, built like a Honda

She had homegirls, Andra and Sandra

Triple teen dream lovin' here to Rowanda

And I kinda wanna fuck her

Talk about Delorious, midnight trucker

She licks my wang like a Blow Pop sucker

But then she got preggers, and now I dump her

Kerplunk, my dick just sunk

Right up in her trunk of funk

I bang out her badonkadonk

I dumped my junk and then it shrunk

[Verse 15: Violent J]

I woke up to the sound of a couple bitchin'

He yelled, "Go home," she yelled, "Good riddance"

I yelled through the window of my kitchen

"Hey baby-boo, what your name is?" Gretchen

Fuck that lame fool, come inside

No need to walk, I'll give you a ride

I hit it all night as her boyfriend cried

I woke up to the aroma as breakfast fried

I once knew a chick named Sophia

A hottie out of Ethiopia

She asked what I'm doin' I'm gropin' ya

Are we gonna fuck? Well I'm hopin' to

I knew a young sweetie named Bobbitt

She was much shorter than a Hobbit

Her neden hole I liked to mug and rob it

My mouth, dick, and fingers we mob it

There's another freak, her name was Fran

Skeet in her pussy, that was my plan

I wanna bang it out as hard as I can

Her neden's so hot it gave my dick a tan

I knew a big woman named Olga

She was like a bull, but I rode her

I wasn't scared of her, and I told her

Until I caught a whiff of that polder

I knew an inked-up girl named Tatty Tats

One of them broads with thirty cats

She was against all jimmy hats

But saved the cigars and those congrats

I pulled out and could've dumped on her waist

But chose instead to aim for that face

You crazy bitch, get you a taste

She tattooed where my skeet was placed

There's another dame, her name was Shaun

I jammed it in the ass 'til the break of dawn

In the bedroom, back yard, and front lawn

I attacked that booty like Genghis Khan

Hotel, no sell

We don't need a room, just the Isle of Belle

We scared the deers, she was wild as hell

I get thank-you letters, a pile of mail

Late night sex with Abbatha

She fucks you like she's mad at ya

She'll brutalize and ravage ya

Ooh yeah, like Randy Savage, y'all

Will I fuck Helen? There's no tellin'

As soon as she calls, my dick starts swellin'

I walked to her house, thank god I'm gellin'

Bad news, she ain't with dudes like Ellen

Veronica, Veronica

I blew on her neden harmonica

We fucked for seven days straight, our own Hanukkah

She could flex her neden bionica

I met a Texas hooker, her name was Alice

She claimed she fucked two thirds of Dallas

Her pussy was a used-up big ass callous

I won't lie, hittin' that shit was the stalest

I had an old girlfriend, her name was Tish

Her booty was flawless, perfectionist

She could blow your nut off with just a kiss

Man, oh man, that bitch I miss

People find her, I tracked her down

Her new boyfriend smacked her around

I cracked his crown out of town

That night, the old bed squeaked, nuts on her itch, slap sound

Late night humpin', body parts thumpin'

Met this hottie said her name was somethin'

She was freaky, shaved clean and neatly

Pristine and squeaky, she eats me weekly

Late night creepin' with Melanie

She screamed, "Big J, keep nailin' me"

The dirty talk baby was tellin' me

Straight up oughta be a felony

Laona, Laona, straight out of Daytona

It's her pussy, but I'm the owner

Fireworks in the sky every time I bone her

We lay on the beach and sip Coronas

There's another freak, her name was Lauren

Her pussy came so hard it was pourin'

I knocked that ass out 'til the mornin'

When I left, her neden hole was still snorin'

Thick-ass thighs, strong-ass tummy

I met a pro dancer, stage name Yummy

She had false teeth and gave me a gummy

I seen her act, and the shit was crummy

I met a fine ass chick named Shya

Her pussy was burnin', set my beard on fire

I ate that biscuit 'til my tongue grew tired

She was a call girl, and my time expired

Look at this butterfly, so damn fine

Her ass was immaculate, her name's Divine

I met her in a church confession line

I pulled her panties to the side and stabbed it from behind

Hot mama, middle aged queen named Joyce

We fucked in her plushed-out pink Rolls Royce

She had an old dried-up whiskey voice

Her manicured pussy was always first choice

I once knew a freak named Joanne

She would give the neden up to no man

I fought for it harder than Hulk Hogan

I begged, "Let me hit it," and she said I sure can

[Verse 16: Shaggy 2 Dope]

Sexy, hot, and racy

I met this chick named Jacey

She blew me from that back, she's crazy

But so acrobatic and amazing

She hung by her feet from the chandalier

And stuck her face up in my rear

What the fuck is she doin' now?

We screwin', bang, pow, boom, and plow

Renae, Renae, this ho don't play

I wanna make love until we float away

Take a short break, maybe smoke a jay

And then we can stroke, poke and play

I met a super freak named Carolyn

Her neden had me hooked like heroin

Through her pussy, my dick came barrelin'

I want every ho in this world we in

So there I am, Tokyo, Japan

Met a geisha girl named Jina Chan

She cleaned my dick, like spick and span

She cooked me steak and served me clam

I knew a big broad named Becky

If she falls on me, she'll wreck me

She fell on my dick directly

And worked her weight correctly

All that size, straight pressure rise

To that hot spot between her thighs

I bust my load and rolled back my eyes

Big Becky, cool like one of the guys

I met a rich bitch, her name was Blair

She was a West Palm Beach millionaire

Fuck the money though, I didn't care

I wanted that ass and up in there

She was clean, douched and primped

I was sprung, and she had me pimped

I was her boy toy, full of joy

I thought she loved me 'til she called me Roy

There's another chick named Victory

She had this thing with lickin' me

Includin' my ass, which was sick to me

I tried hers, and it taste like Hickory

I met a cowgirl, said her name was Ruth

She could whistle for a horse with her big-ass tooth

This bitch stunk if you want the truth

Even so I knocked her boots all the way to Duluth

Holy fuck, pull over the car

Street walkin' beauty like a shining star

She was perfect, from behind so far

When she turned around, she looked like GWAR

Met this hottie named Nika

Ass like Afa and Sika

Couldn't tell, but I think she was a tweeker

When we fucked, she was louder than a speaker

I met a young hottie at 7-Eleven

She asked for a favor, said her name was Heaven

Would I buy her a case of Bud

And if I do, we'd make some love

She was nineteen, and I was old

Her neden was warm, and my dick was cold

I bought that brew like I was told

And spent some time up in her folds

[Verse 17: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]

I met this bitch named Cherry Puss

We both loved smokin' strawberry kush

We got so high in her mama's basement

In between her legs is where my face went

The Hatchet Boyz, kings of the mat

Wrestled one night, and I met this rat

Named Fiona, her belly was fat

But her titties wasn't all that, pancake flat

There's a girl named Zora at the party store

She makes no secret she's a dirty whore

We fucked in the cooler, my ass was cold

'Cause I laid on the floor as my dick she rode

Three sisters, Lola, Lea, and Lana

Two was nineteen, the other older than Madonna

All fine as hell, fuck 'em all, I wanna

Threw my dick in their faces like a hurricanrana

Mike E. Clark, Legz Diamond, too

They can vouch, these rhymes are true

All my homies have heard us brag

They know about the hoes we tag

Our young homie Clay heard us rap

And said he had way more freaks than that

We told him like this, they might be freakin'

But boy, you never had ICP treatment