...rappers tell me that I lost it here

Rocking silk shirts and bondage gear? wrong career

Shut up and bounce with it, stop acting counterfiet

If you're uptight, I just might stretch it out a bit

Humpasaur Jones, got standards and substance

The reason I never take advantage of drunk chicks

Some guys think stupid is cute

But I'm really not impressed that you puked on my shoes

Listen, baby, I got problems of my own

Got this Congresswoman calling me and sobbing on my phone

Seven pregnant chicks from Asheville to Connecticutt

I'm not kidding, so stop giving me mixed messages

....thanks, but I'm leaving that alone

Skin from the saharas, teeth of navarrone

She's a VD battle zone, death on two legs

So call your travel agent and get the suitcase

...she's working in a circular loop

Grooming recruits for future paternity suits (...and that's you)

...the punchline is all about what you didn't know

From the kids at home to the carnivorous forbidden zone

Ohhhh...I'm here to teach the kids of today

To learn tricks of the trade, with X-rated visual aids

I been there and back, through the best snares and traps

And survived with my pride and pubic hair intact (applause)

...rappers tell me that I lost it here

Rocking silk shirts and bondage gear? wrong career

Shut up and bounce with it, stop acting counterfiet

If you're uptight, I just might stretch it out a bit

People disagreeing blows my fucking mind

I'm talking loving life

-- whatchoo doing on the other side?