[Verse 1]

He's a really cool guy

He’s got a cool shirt

He's got cool shoes

Did I mention the shirt?

If you ever got the chance to meet him

You'd know why I want to be him

He walks into a room and everyone respects him (Everyone respects him)

He reads the news and doesn’t let that shit affect him (Let that shit affect him)

He's really happy, he's thrilled to be alive

His name is any white guy in 1985

[Chorus]

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 1985)

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)

White guy, 1985 (White guy)

[Verse 2]

He's got a job and a family; how does he do it?

Balances work with his wife's underwhelming cooking

He's got all the answers that I wanna know

How can I be what I am, but 40 years ago?

Gee whiz, he got it and he flaunts

I am the thing he is, but he is it when I want

I guess it's true that some people really got to fight to survive

And some people are white guys in 1985

[Chorus]

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 1985)

White guy, 1985 (White guy, 19-80--)

White guy, 1985 (White guy)

Wait!

[Bridge, spoken]

It wasn't easy being any white guy in 1985

Some white guys were living through the AIDS crisis

Some white guys were... Italian

And I’m not saying it’s hard being a white guy now

I've misspoke

(sung)

I don’t mean to lump a group of people in a hive

I think I just meant my dad in 1985

[Chorus]

My dad, 1985 (My dad!)

My father, 1985 (Papa!)

My dad, 1985

Scott Burnham, 1985 (Scott!)

I wanna be my dad (My dad, 1985) (Scott!)

I wanna be my dad (My father, 1985) (Scott!)

In the 80s (My dad, 1985) (Scott!)

My oblivious white dad in the mid-80s (Scott Burnham, 1985) (Scott!)

My dad was an oblivious white guy (My dad, 1985) (General contractor!)

My father was happier than I am (My father, 1985)

If I could be anybody, dead or alive

I would want to be my dad in 1985