[Intro]

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself

You can try this at home

You can be just like me

Mic check, on, -two, we recordin'?

[Verse 1]

I'm cancerous, so when I diss, you wouldn't wanna answer this

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus

I'll strangle you to death, then I'll choke you again

And break your fuckin' legs 'til your bones poke through your skin

You beef with me, I'ma even the score equally

Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally

I get too blunted off of funny homegrown

'Cause when I smoke out, I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono (Oh no)

So if I said I never did drugs

That would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does

Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert

I ripped her fuckin' tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch)

My nerves hurt and lately, I'm on edge

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads (Come here, motherfucker)

Every girl I ever went out with has gone les'

Follow me and do exactly what the song says

Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people

And drink, jump behind the wheel like it was still legal

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill

'Cause I stand out like a green hat with an orange bill

But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist

How the fuck can I be white? I don't even exist

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave

Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

[Chorus]

Now follow me and do exactly what you see

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

I slap women and eat shrooms, then OD

Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

[Verse 2]

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole

When we heard a knock at the door, must've been Ron Gold

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold

Killed them both, then smeared blood on the white Bronco (We did it)

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt

I'm not a player, just an ill rhyme sayer

That'll spray an aerosol can up at the ozone layer

My rap style's warped, I'm runnin' out the morgue

With your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on

And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn

I'm 'bout as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits

A premature birth that was four minutes late

Mother, are you there? I love you

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel (That shovel)

Will someone please explain to my brain

That I just severed the main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?

I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts

'Cause if you ain't tiltin' this room, neither am I

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass

Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her

'Cause when I drop this solo shit, it's over with

I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it

[Chorus]

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

I've been with ten women who got HIV

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree

You probably wanna grow up to be just like me