[Intro]

We'd like to do a poem... if I can find it, a-heh

Called "The subject was faggots"

{*laughs*} Wait a minute... yeah... yeah

If Charlie's arms can hold out, then we'll do that...

Because it came up one night

When I caught myself going to a dance, heh...

Going to a dance, that was being held on 34th Street & 8th Avenue

I'm sure you're all aware what famous, um...

What famous, um... dance houses they have there

And I was standing outside, you know, "being cool," haha

Trying to find out who was going to go in, you know

That I'd figure I'd be able to talk to

And they were holding a Faggot Ball in the next half of the building

So I got kinda confused and I had to sit down and write this poem

[Verse]

The subject was faggots

And the quote was:

"Ain't nothing happening but faggots and dope

Faggots and dope

Faggots and faggots and faggots

Who lying

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot"

Like that

34th Street and 8th Avenue

Giggling, and grinning, and prancing, and shit

Trying their best to see the misses and miseries and miscellaneous misfits

Who were just about to attend the Faggot Ball

Faggots who had come to ball

Faggots who had come to bawl

Faggots who were bawling

Because they could not get their balls inside the faggot hall

Bawling, bawling, ball-less faggots

Cutie, cootie, and snootie faggots

I mean, you just had to dig it, to dig it

The crowning attraction being the arrival of Miss Brooklyn

Looking like a halfback in a miniskirt

With swan feathers covering his, or her, uh... its pectorals and balls

As she, uh... he, uh... it prepared to enter the Faggot Ball

But sitting on the corner, digging all that I did, as I did

Long, long, black limousines

And long, flowing evening gowns

Had there been no sign on the door, saying "Faggot Ball"

I might have entered

And God only knows just what would have happened

[Outro]

"The subject was faggots."

I'm glad you made it, Charlie, heh... I'm glad you made it