
[QUEEN MORGAN LE FEY]
I've married many men, a ton of them
And yet I was untrue to none of them
Because I bumped off every one of them
To keep my love alive
Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me
At night he was a horse's neck to me
So I performed an appendectomy
To keep my love alive
Sir Thomas had insomnia
He couldn't sleep at night
I bought a little arsenic
He's sleeping now all right
Sir Roger played the harp, I cussed the thing
I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing
And now he plays where harps are just the thing
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive
I thought Sir George had possibilities
But his flirtations made me ill at ease
And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease
To keep my love alive
Sir Charles came from a sanatorium
And yelled for drinks in my emporium
I mixed one drink, he's in memoriam
To keep my love alive
Sir Percy was a singing bird
A nightingale, that's why
I tossed him off my balcony
To see if he could fly
Sir Jonathan indulged in fratricide
He killed his dad, and that was patricide
One night I stabbed him at my mattress side
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive
I caught Sir James with his protectoress
The rector’s wife, I mean the rectoress
His heart stood still: angina pectoris
To keep my love alive
Sir Frank brought ladies to my palaces
I poured a mickey in their chalices
While paralyzed, they got paralysis
To keep my love alive
Sir Alfred worshipped falconry
He used to hunt at will
I sent him on a hunting trip
They’re hunting for him still
Sir Peter had an incongruity
Collecting girls with promiscuity
Now I'm collecting his annuity
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive!
Sir Ethelbert would use profanity
His language drove me near insanity
So once again I served humanity
To keep my love alive
Sir Curtis made me cook each dish he ate
And everything his heart could wish he ate
Until I fiddled with a fish he ate
To keep my love alive
Sir Marmaduke was awfully tall
He didn't fit in bed
I solved that problem easily
I just removed his head
Sir Marc adored me with formality
He called a kiss an immorality
And so I gave him immortality
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive!