[QUEEN MORGAN LE FEY]

I've married many men, a ton of them

And yet I was untrue to none of them

Because I bumped off every one of them

To keep my love alive

Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me

At night he was a horse's neck to me

So I performed an appendectomy

To keep my love alive

Sir Thomas had insomnia

He couldn't sleep at night

I bought a little arsenic

He's sleeping now all right

Sir Roger played the harp, I cussed the thing

I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing

And now he plays where harps are just the thing

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive

I thought Sir George had possibilities

But his flirtations made me ill at ease

And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease

To keep my love alive

Sir Charles came from a sanatorium

And yelled for drinks in my emporium

I mixed one drink, he's in memoriam

To keep my love alive

Sir Percy was a singing bird

A nightingale, that's why

I tossed him off my balcony

To see if he could fly

Sir Jonathan indulged in fratricide

He killed his dad, and that was patricide

One night I stabbed him at my mattress side

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive

I caught Sir James with his protectoress

The rector’s wife, I mean the rectoress

His heart stood still: angina pectoris

To keep my love alive

Sir Frank brought ladies to my palaces

I poured a mickey in their chalices

While paralyzed, they got paralysis

To keep my love alive

Sir Alfred worshipped falconry

He used to hunt at will

I sent him on a hunting trip

They’re hunting for him still

Sir Peter had an incongruity

Collecting girls with promiscuity

Now I'm collecting his annuity

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive!

Sir Ethelbert would use profanity

His language drove me near insanity

So once again I served humanity

To keep my love alive

Sir Curtis made me cook each dish he ate

And everything his heart could wish he ate

Until I fiddled with a fish he ate

To keep my love alive

Sir Marmaduke was awfully tall

He didn't fit in bed

I solved that problem easily

I just removed his head

Sir Marc adored me with formality

He called a kiss an immorality

And so I gave him immortality

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive!