[Intro]

*pig snorting*

[Verse 1]

Big man, pig man, haha, charade, you are, woo!

You well-heeled big wheel, haha, charade, you are

And when your hand is on your heart

[Pre-Chorus]

You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker

With your head down in the pig bin, saying, "Keep on digging"

Pig stain on your fat chin, what do you hope to find

Down in the pig mine?

[Chorus]

You're nearly a laugh

You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

(Animals)

[Verse 2]

Bus stop rat bag, haha, charade, you are

You fucked up, old hag, haha, charade, you are

You radiate cold shafts of broken glass

[Pre-Chorus]

You're nearly a good laugh, almost worth a quick grin

You like the feel of steel, you're hot stuff with a hatpin

And good fun with a handgun

[Chorus]

You're nearly a laugh

You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry

[Instrumental Break]

*pig snorting*

[Verse 3]

Hey you, Whitehouse, haha, charade, you are

You house-proud town mouse, haha, charade you are

You're trying to keep our feelings off the street

[Pre-Chorus]

You're nearly a real treat, all tight lips and cold feet

And do you feel abused? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, you!

Gotta stem the evil tide and keep it all on the inside

[Chorus]

Mary, you're nearly a treat

Mary, you're nearly a treat, but you're really a cry

[Guitar Solo]