[JOE]

Hi there, Myron

[MYRON]

How's it hanging?

[JOE]

I've got a date with Sheldrake

[MYRON]

I'm shooting a Western down at Fox

[JOE]

How can you work with Darryl?

[MYRON]

We should talk

[JOE]

Gotta run

[BOTH]

Let's do lunch

[MARY]

Hi, Mr. Gillis

[JOE]

You look great!

[MARY]

I'm up for an audition

[JOE]

Sheldrake is driving me insane

[MARY]

Don't forget me when you're casting

[JOE]

We should talk

[MARY]

Gotta run

[BOTH]

Let's do lunch

[MYRON]

Morning, Joanna

[MARY]

Hi there, Myron

[JOANNA]

Who are you meeting?

[MYRON]

You look great

[JOE]

Sheldrake, but do I need it?

[MARY]

I've spent the last month fasting

[JOANNA]

I'm handing in my second draft

[MYRON]

I'm shooting a Western down at Fox

[JOE]

I'd really love to read it

[MARY]

Don't forget me when you're casting

[JOANNA]

We should talk

[MYRON]

We should talk

[JOE]

Gotta run

[MARY]

Gotta run

[BOTH]

Let's do lunch

[JOE, spoken]

Yeah, I have an appointment with Mr. Sheldrake

[JONES, spoken]

Name?

[JOE, spoken]

Gillis. Joseph Gillis

[JONES, spoken]

Okay, sir. You know your way?

[JOE, spoken]

Yeah

[FINANCEMAN #1]

We want the keys to your car

[FINANCEMAN #2]

You're way behind with the payments

[FINANCEMAN #1]

Don't give us any fancy footwork

[FINANCEMAN #2]

Give us the keys

[JOE]

I only wish I could help

I loaned it to my accountant

He has an important client down in Palm Springs

Felt like shooting the breeze

[FINANCEMAN #1]

Are you telling us you walked here?

[JOE]

I believe in self-denial

I'm in training for the priesthood

[FINANCEMAN #2]

Okay, wise guy, three hundred bucks

[FINANCEMAN #1, spoken]

Or we're taking the car

[FINANCEMAN #2, spoken]

We have a court order

[JOE, spoken]

I love it when you talk dirty

(sung)

Hey there, Sammy

How are you doin'?

[SAMMY]

Truth is, I'm brokenhearted

Fed up with playing gigolos

[JOE]

That's how the stars got started

[GIRLS]

This is the biggest film ever made

[JOE]

What are you playing?

[ANITA]

Another victim

[DAWN]

"Tart with a heart of tinsel"

[JOE]

Let's do lunch

Gotta run

You've got to find me a job

I'm way behind with my payments

I thought you were meant to be my agent

I need some work

[MORINO]

I only wish I could help

This town is dead at the moment

There's been this slowdown in production

[JOE]

Who is this jerk?

[MORINO]

He's my wunderkind from Broadway

Every major studio wants him

[YOUNGER MAN]

Playing one against the other

[JOE]

What I need is three hundred bucks

[MORINO, spoken]

Maybe what you need is a new agent

[JOE]

Hello, Artie

[ARTIE]

Joe, you bastard!

You never call me any more

Found a cuter dancing partner

How are things?

[JOE]

Not so great

[ARTIE]

Will this help?

Twenty bucks?

[JOE, spoken]

Thanks, you're a pal

[SHELDRAKE]

This is Sheldrake

Bring some water

Get me that shithead Nolan

Nolan, sweetheart

Great to talk

This draft is so much brighter

You're the best

Even so

I've hired another writer

[SHELDRAKE]

Joe! What the fuck brings you here?

[JOE, spoken]

You wanted to see me

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

I did? What about?

[JOE, spoken]

"Bases Loaded", it's an outline for a baseball store

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

So, pitch!

[JOE, spoken]

It's about a rookie shortstop running .347. The kid was once mixed up in a holdup. Now he's trying to escape

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I have read this

Somebody, bring in what we've got on a...

[JOE, spoken]

"Bases Loaded"

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

—Bases Loaded!

[JOE, spoken]

They're pretty hot for it over at Twentieth

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

Good!

[ENSEMBLE]

Let's do lunch

[BETTY, spoken]

Here's that "Bases Loaded" materical, Mr. Sheldrake

I made a two-page synopsis for you, but I wouldn't bother to read it

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

Why not?

[BETTY, spoken]

It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

Meet Mr. Gillis. He wrote it!

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

This is Miss Kramer!

[BETTY]

Schaefer. Betty Schaefer. And right now, I'd like to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me

[JOE, spoken]

If I could be of any help...

[BETTY, spoken]

I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, I couldn't see the point of it

[JOE, spoken]

What sort of material do you suggest? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky?

[BETTY, spoken]

I think pictures should at least try to say a little something

[JOE, spoken]

I see you're one of the message kids. I expect you'd have turned down "Gone With the Wind"

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

No, that was me!

[ENSEMBLE]

Gotta run

[BETTY, spoken]

And I guess I was disappointed. I've read some of your other work and I thought you had some real talent

[JOE, spoken]

But that was last year. This year I felt like eating

[BETTY, spoken]

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

Thank you, Miss Kramer! Looks like Fox have got themselves a baseball picture!

[ENSEMBLE]

We should talk

Gotta run

Let's do lunch

[JOE]

You've got to give me some work

I'll take whatever's on offer

There must be some shit that needs a rewrite

Throw it my way

[SHELDRAKE]

I only wish I could help

There's no spare shit at the moment

Remember the greatest writers starved in Garrets

Didn't care about pay

[JOE]

Are you trying to be funny?

[SHELDRAKE]

I believe in self-denial

Gives a man some moral backbone

[JOE]

Can you loan me three hundred bucks?

[SHELDRAKE, spoken]

I'm sorry, Gillis. Good-bye

[JOE, spoken]

I just love Hollywood!

[MYRON, CLIFF, SAMMY, KATHERINE]

Morning, Joanna

Where've you been hiding?

Hi there, Lisa

How're you doing?

I hate this weather

You look great

[LIZ, MARY, JOANNA, GIRLS]

RKO are okay!

What're you doing?

You look great

This is the biggest film ever made!

[CLIFF, MARY, DAWN, JOANNA]

I'm trying to make my mind up

Guess I was born to play her

What is my motivation?

You look great

[SAMMY, LIZ, MYRON, MORINO]

They're talking nominations

You should go work for Warners'

Is your new script with Sheldrake?

I'm very close to Sheldrake

[ARTIE]

We shoot next month

[SAMMY, SANDY, ARTIE, MORINO, MYRON]

Gotta run!

[JOHN, KATHERINE, JOANNA, ANITA, JOANNA]

Let's drive to Vegas this weekend

Let's do lunch

You look great

I'm handing in my second draft

[MARY, KATHERINE, ADAM, CLIFF, MARY]

It's between me and Dietrich

I've landed a big Broadway show

I'm gonna work for Metro

Let's do lunch

[GIRLS, MYRON, CLIFF, JOHN]

Let's do lunch, this is the biggest film ever made!

I'd really love to read it

I'd know just how to light you

Let's do lunch

[JOHN & LISA]

It won't work

[MORINO]

Let's pencil Thursday morning

[ENSEMBLE #1]

We should talk

[ENSEMBLE #2]

Gotta run

[ALL]

Let's do lunch!

Hi, good morning. Aren't we lucky?

Going to work with Cukor

Paramount is paradise!

Movies from A to Zukor

We should talk

Gotta run

[ENSEMBLE #1]

Let's do lunch

[ENSEMBLE #2]

We should talk

[ENSEMBLE #1]

Gotta run

[ENSEMBLE #2]

Gotta run

[ALL]

Let's do lunch!

[JOE]

Come to get your knife back

(spoken)

It's still there. Right between my shoulder blades