[Intro]

Woohoo

Hee ha, hee ha, hee ha, hee ha

[Chorus]

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

[Verse 1]

He examines my prostate all over the tristate

Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Tuesday, and even Friday

Want him to stop, but I can’t say it out loud

'Cause then he’ll just laugh and send me down to pound town

I started this in February, finished it in May

Before the month of February I was acting gay

I hatе being in debt but I know I’ll nevеr pay

I don’t have enough money to neuter or spay

My cat’s gonna have a vagina either way

My dog’s gonna have a dick shaped like a ray

If I was Hawaiian i would probably wear a lei

If I was a fish I'd probably be a filet

I ran out of words that rhyme with that

When I rap about Nolan I gotta rhyme with fat

I shouldn’t have mentioned the vagina of my cat

Not to mention I don’t even have a cat

[Verse 2]

Tallywhacker’s slang for penis

I know you want my thing in your weenus

Imma send the haters straight to Venus

You have a stench like Charlie Brown Linus

His name’s actually pronounced Linus

Liquidized meth gets me drunker than wine does

Taiwan and its owner, there’s two Chinas

My cat’s a hermaphrodite, it has a penis and vagina

The flutes are back and they’re blowing on wood

If I was gay I’d probably blow on wood

If I was Santa Claus I’d have to blow on soot

Going down the chimney I might bump my foot

Have I ever said I have a thing for feet

If I was gay I’d have a thing for meat

If I was Indian I'd be named Panjeet

I think I eated a leaf

[Chorus]

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

[Verse 3]

Tallywhacker, I tally whack you

You’re the bees knees, I got a knack for you

I just popped my pimple, I got a snack for you

I just got implants, now I got a rack for you

I just made some money, but that rack’s for me

I know your bank info, but that hack’s for me

I got enormous nuts, but that sack’s for me

I’m a skeleton, I look like I’m lacking meat

[Chorus]

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker

Rubbin' all the lumps on my tallywhacker

I think I have mumps on my tallywhacker

All down in the dumps about my tallywhacker

Please don't put your rump on my tallywhacker