[DELIA]

The universe

Is more than just space with no end

La-la-la-la-la!

Just think of the universe as a female best friend

And you can be like

"Hey, Universe, what's happenin', girl?"

And she'll be like

"Oh, nothin'... just running the world."

And you'll be like, "What?"

And the universe will be like "I know!

You're on the right track, girl

I got your back, girl

I'm helping you grow"

Think positive

Act positive

You are a child of the Earth!

(spoken)

Life-coaching! Nailing it!

(sung)

Time to take command

You dictate the hand

The universe deals

Look!

Science makes no sense

Who needs evidence?

Go with your feels

I'm like a radio

Tuned to the stars

I found my frequency

Crystals speak to me

[LYDIA, spoken]

What are they saying?

[DELIA, spoken]

Buy more crystals!

(sung)

Everything, everything happens for a reason

Be a beacon of light in the world

Put a little "alright" in the world

There are spiritual guides above

Look up and see 'em

Perception is reality

Just listen to the melody the universe sings

'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason

[LYDIA, spoken]

Gee, I hate to break it to you.

(sung)

The universe is just the contents of time, matter and space

[DELIA, spoken]

Yeah.

[LYDIA, sung]

Ninety-one billion light-years across

And the Earth's a small place

Where good people die

[DELIA, spoken]

No—

[LYDIA, spoken]

Yeah.

(sung)

In famine and wars

The Pacific Islands are sinking

But negative thinking is hardly the cause

You think life is all unicorns and rainbows 'cause you're bored

And positivity is a luxury that few can afford

We're gonna die

Yes, you and I

In meaninglessness and alone...

[DELIA]

No no no!

No!

One day you may wake up alone

[LYDIA, spoken]

Okay?

[DELIA]

'Cause your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat

And then they sailed away to Rome

[LYDIA, spoken]

That's specific.

[DELIA]

So you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair

Talkin' to the walls 'cause there's no one there

And you have to buy a cat

'Cause that's your last chance to have a family

Take it from me!

That your aging ass will have to believe that—

Everything, everything happens for a reason

Put some more fun in the world

A little "I am still young!!!" in the world

Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em—

[LYDIA, spoken]

Is this still about me?

[DELIA]

'Cause everything, everything happens—

[LYDIA]

Sounds like terrible things can happen

Because the universe is random

[DELIA, spoken]

Yes, but—

(sung)

Random for a reason!

[LYDIA]

No reason!