[Intro]

I hate my fuckin' boss, and I hate my fuckin' job

I hate my dumb ex-wife and her stupid boyfriend cop

I hate all other countries, and I hate when people talk

But, boy, do I love being home alone and jerkin' off

[Chorus]

I jerk off all the time, I jerk off everyday

I jack off every night in my jacked up Chevrolet

I jerk off when I'm sleepin', and I jerk when I'm awake

And boy, I love to walk down busy streets and masturbate

I jerk off on the couch, I'm jerkin' off right now

I jerk off to the thought of jerkin' off, and holy cow

I'm deputy of ding-dong drummin', triple grippin', tater tuggin'

King of crankin' off my junk, and that's the only thing I love

[Verse 1]

In my dirty muddy pickup, drivin' bumpy with my dick up

Bustin' all up in my dip cup, I'm the boss of bein' bricked up

Blistered knuckles, I won't quit, I'm bustin' nuts while on the shitter

Whiskey wranglin', tipsy twister, jerkin' off is why I live

I'm the big rig, bone rubbin', sock stained stroke

Lovin' wizard of the wiener, jerkin' off is all I need

[Chorus]

I jerk off all the time, I jerk off everyday

I jack off every night in my jacked up Chevrolet

I jerk off when I'm sleepin', and I jerk when I'm awake

And boy, I love to walk down busy streets and masturbate

I jerk off on the couch, I'm jerkin' off right now

I jerk off to the thought of jerkin' off, and holy cow

I'm deputy of ding-dong drummin', triple grippin', tater tuggin'

King of crankin' off my junk, and that's the only thing I love

[Verse 2]

It's the only thing I love, it's the only thing I need

You can call me Farmer Faps-A-Lot, the way I'm spreading seed

Gettin' sweaty from the way I'm settin' all these different speeds

Turbo tuggin' on my cheese and clutching up my jelly beans

Lotion lubin' on my sausage, now I'm stroking supersonic

And the motions got me rockin', this is gonna be atomic

Baby, open up that faucet, I ain't slowing this massage

I'm goin' apeshit on my snake, you better get out of the way

[Chorus]

I jerk off all the time, I jerk off everyday

I jack off every night in my jacked up Chevrolet

I jerk off when I'm sleepin', and I jerk when I'm awake

And boy, I love to walk down busy streets and masturbate

I jerk off on the couch, I'm jerkin' off right now

I jerk off to the thought of jerkin' off, and holy cow

I'm deputy of ding-dong drummin', triple grippin', tater tuggin'

King of crankin' off my junk, and that's the only thing I love

[Instrumental Outro]