[Dido]:

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Jeb]:

Dear Trump, you cucked me, and you still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my pager, and guac recipe at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em

There probably was a problem at the first debate or somethin'

Sometimes I deliver speeches, too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's your campaign?

My face is in the news, I'm tryin' to be my father

If I saw my brother, guess what I tell 'em?

I tell 'em sorry

And I know I tried to stump you too, I'm sorry

I think about killing myself, 'cause you stump me so damn often

I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan

I even stand on tippie toes to feel more like a man

I got a room full of Trump posters and your pictures, man

I like the shit you did with Rubio, that shit was fat

Anyways, I hope you get this, Trump, hit me back

Just to chat, truly yours, a biggest pleb, this is Jeb

[Dido]:

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Jeb]:

Dear Trump, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance

I ain't gay, I just want you to cuck me in my underpants

If you didn't want to talk after the debate

And I wondered

If you woulda signed a guaca bowl for Columba

That's my little waifu man, she's only four feet tall

We waited in the blisterin' cold

For you, for four hours, and you didn't show

That's pretty shitty, Trump, you're like a fuckin' idol

And I wanna be inside you, but she likes it more than I do

Na, I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Cleveland?

You said if I'd write you, you'd write back

See, I'm just like you in way: I never thought of running neither

I used to speak on Iran's leader

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your Tweets

So when I have a shitty day, I eat some guac and read along

'Cause I don't really got shit else

So that shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo that says Trump across the chest

Sometimes I even cut an avocado begging please

It's like adrenaline, the guac is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it

Columba's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like I know you, Trump, no one does

She don't know what it was like getting fucked inside the butt

You gotta cuck me man

I'll be the biggest cuck you'll ever lose, sincerely yours, Jeb

P.S. We should eat guac together too

[Dido]:

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Jeb]:

Dear Mr.-I'm-Too-Good-To-Cuck-Or-Fuck-My-Fans

This'll be the last Guaca Bowl I ever send your ass

It's been six debates, and still no word - I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters

I wrote Trump Tower on 'em perfect

So this is my recipe I'm sendin' you, I hope you use it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway

Hey, Trump, I drank a fifth of guaca, you dare me to drive?

You know that debate where Carson couldn't open his eyes

And how that guy who coulda saved my campaign from stumpin'

But didn't, Cruz saw it all at the debate in Cali

That's kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from stumpin'

Now it's too late, I ate an avocado, now I'm drowsy

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped all of your campaign posters off the wall

I loved you, Trump, we coulda been together — think about it!

You ruined it, I hope you can't sleep and you drop out about it

And when you drop out I hope you can't Tweet

And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you

And you can't stump without me

See, Trump— shut up, bitch! I'm tryin' to talk

Hey, Trump, that's Columba screamin' in the trunk

But I didn't steal her guac, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you

‘Cause if there ain't no avocados though well then she'll die too

Alright I gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shit, I forgot, how can I stump you now?

[Dido]:

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

[Trump]:

Dear Jeb, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy

You said your guac is killer now, how delicious is the recipe?

Look, I'm really glad you wanna cuck like that

And here's an autograph for Columba

I wrote it on a MAGA hat

I'm sorry I stumped you at the debate, it musta hurt you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to cuck you

But what's this shit you said about you like to cuck your wife too?

I say that shit just clownin', dawg, come on, how fucked up is you?

You got some issues, Jeb, I think you need some counselin'

To help your campaign regain some

Balls when you get down some

And what's this shit about us meant to cuck together?

That the type of shit that make me not want us to meet each other

I really think you and Columba need each other

Or maybe you just need to fuck her better

I hope you get to read this letter

I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you cuck yourself, I think that your campaign will be just fine

If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Jeb

Why are you so mad? Try to understand

That I do want you as a cuck

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one cuck on the news

A couple weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was cuck and drove his car over a bridge

And had Columba in the trunk

With guacamole and shit

And in the car they found a speech, but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about it, his name was… it was you, Jeb