“Why’s Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?” was Bloodhound Gang’s third and final single from One Fierce Beer Coaster. It was a #7 hit in New Zealand and a minor hit in the Netherlands and the UK.

Musically, it… Read More [Verse 1]

The morn that I was born my old man beat up the doctor

He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca

The doctor said, "Sir, you're misled, sir, which infers you mistook me

I did not mean your lovely wife was shacking up with a wookie

What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son

He looks like Chewie (Baba Booey Baba Booey)

And a Hong Kong Phooey all in one

To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu looking

I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cooking."

[Hook]

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby)

[Verse 2]

Why's everybody always pickin' on me?

Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali

I got a schnoz like the Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you

So back me up Bill (Yeah, and you're ugly too!)

So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese

Or wear a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valentia jeans

And my mirror never lies but it always verifies

I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie

You compare me to a Monchhichi but I don't understand

Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man

And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first

But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse

About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink

And that might be cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink

I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard

It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged

[Hook]

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you wore velour flares until the late Eighties)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky)

[Verse 3]

Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased

And he breaks into the professor's lab and makes some LSD

Peaks, freaks, and eats the skipper's brains then beats ginger with coconuts

As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut

Oh, he'll kill again, that Gilligan, they he should of let him be

And like a postal clerk I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing me

See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm

Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

[Hook]

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you wore velour flares until the late Eighties)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause no one likes ya, monkey boy)