[Intro, spoken]:

Oh, hello! You don't look familiar!

I suppose you're here for a little bit of lyrical enlightenment, hmm?

Alright then. Strap in!

[Verse 1]

Welcome weary Traveler, you're new, I haven't seen ya

You stand amidst the grandeur of Sumeru Akademiya

A scholarly repository of knowledge and philosophy

Concoction and apocrypha are seldom to be seen here

Our word is official in a whirlwind of disciplines

Enlightening the minds of the world and its citizens

You strike me as likely a person who's visiting?

So, might be you find you're uncеrtain of fitting in?

We've boffins in technology and noggins for biology

But you'vе dropped into the college of the prof of Aetiology

The study of what was and is, their causes and, well, probably

You'd think of it as 'history', simplistic but just tolerably

So, honored be the Sumeru to summarize events for

A quick initiation to equip you for adventure

The mythic twists of nations, the intrigues and invasions

Exquisitely relayed by a semi-certain mentor

I'll be honest, there's a lot of it, and though we're never wrong

There's a reason no one's ever tried to show it in a song

Whilst musicians of tradition throughout the kingdom might prefer ballads

When I'm spitting wisdom, you'll forgive a little word salad

[Interlude, spoken]:

Right... here goes then. I'll start with the easy stuff. Well... easy-ish...

[Verse 2]

So I'll take you through the basics, the most obvious of straight facts

You've landed in the land known as the continent of Teyvat

It's made of seven nations, there's Natlan and then Fontaine and

Sumeru and Inazuma, Snezhnaya, Liyue, Mondstadt

Now, don't get overwhelmed, there's a plethora of realms

Elemental Light, abyssal Void and human, where we dwell

But don't think of them as places, they all take up the same space

It's more like layers in a cake, well, no that's silly, maybe, well...

The cake is filled with currants! No, the elemental kind!

There's light and dark respectively, but ours are called Ley Lines

Like magic streams of energy that carry all the memories

Of everyone that's ever been and all they've left behind

Perhaps I should have tackled this before we'd begun

But the human realm was helmed by 'The Primordial One'

I'd expect a god progenitor needs modern context first?

No, this is too complex, I'll save it for the next verse

[Chorus]

The Genshin dimension is pretty intense

Filled with events too dense to mention

Now, I don't mean to test your comprehension

But I think it's best you pay attention

If you fall from the stars for all sorts of fun travels

Before you can start, you've got lore to unravel

The Akademiya encyclopaedia's a crack source

Want to make an Impact? You'll need a crash course!

[Interlude, spoken]:

Right. You got all that? Good! How about a little ancient history?

Ok! You asked for it!

[Verse 3]

So, many milennia ago there was the Sovereigns

Dragon Lords, the all-powerful sort, just sort of hovering

About, all seven with a territory, embellished

By their presence with their elemental offerings

You want to hear specifics? Well, we haven't got time

But each nation's god has got their own impact on their climes

There's Cryo, Pyro, Hydro, Dendro, Electro, Geo, Ameno

Really convenient that they all happen to rhyme!

Then obviously enters The Primordial One

The progenitor I mentioned? And a war was begun

The Primordial One fought the lords of dragons

And when all's said and done, The Primordial... won

The old world ends and the new begins

Which the god made fit to have humans in

And though peace and prosperity were brief, we can generally

Agree the human realm is quite a useful thing

An addendum I should mention, there were sisters in the moon

Only one of them was Canon but I'm pretty sure it's true

They lived in a Lunar Palace where they kept the stars in balance

And a people called the Seelie rose to relevancy too

But that's beside the point, the fact is all were living happily

For several generations gods reside beside humanity

A great civilization, nations weaved into a tapestry

Of arts and innovation - then the ancient calamity

The universe did just get a rebirth

But it soon laid waste to the heavens and earth

When The Second Who Came, yes, I swear that's their name

Suddenly entered the game and well, the records are regretfully mehhh

What happened next? We're not actually sure

They were far too busy dying to keep track of the score

The moon sisters eclipsed and the Seelie were wisped and -

Let's just break for a chorus then come back for the war...

[Chorus]

The Genshin dimension is pretty intense

Filled with events too dense to mention

And this session's intent's to attempt to condense

And to dispense with all the questions

If you fall from the stars for all sorts of fun travels

Before you can start, you've got lore to unravel

The Akademiya encyclopaedia's a crack source

Want to make an Impact? You'll need a crash course!

[Interlude, spoken]:

Oh! You're still here! People don't normally make it this far

I thought you might have switched for a different video

During the second chorus! Heh heh...

Right...

[Verse 4]

Listen up! It's time to learn about the Archon War!

When it started? Again, we ARE NOT SURE

It either starts in the calamity or after it, what matters is

It happened, it was bad, and that it lasted for

At least a whole millennium, again, be clear, we're guessing here

The deities in Celestia, a region in the heavens, where

The gods sit in their special chairs and sit and do whatever, dared

To question who knew better and who gets to keep on resting there

Seven divine seats saw the heavens divided

Each nation collides with those they used to ally with

As deities fight over a place in the sky

Until they got a seating plan they could agree on decided

And when chaos subsided and the seats were agreed

And those nations in flames had their new deities decreed

All seven could then get on with an era of peace

Nope! There was an eighth one hiding beneath their feet!

Yes, Khaenri'ah was underground and hidden from the gods

Which as you can imagine, well, they didn't like a lot

So they smote them for their vanity, now known as the calamity

Which backfired quite spectacularly, well what were the odds?

As they unleashed abyssal creatures, which was probably horrific

But again, when being eaten, no one documents specifics

So, better not to dwell because it's plainly depressing

Another half-millennia and hey, it's the present!

[Chorus]

The Genshin dimension is pretty intense

Filled with events too dense to mention

Now, I don't mean to test your comprehension

But I think it's best you pay attention

And this session's intent's to attempt to condense

And to dispense with all the questions

To make a little sense and help retention

A melody to prep you for ascension

If you fall from the stars for all sorts of fun travels

Before you can start, you've got lore to unravel

The Akademiya encyclopaedia's a crack source

Want to make an Impact? You'll need a crash course!

Want to fight gods? Well, before your destiny

You're gonna have to battle with some lore complexities

You can master magic or amass a great attack force

Want to make an impact? You'll need a crash course!

[Outro, spoken]:

There we go! We're done!

A complete and through history of the land of Teyvat

Everything you could need to know

Though I did neglect to mention the Gnoses, the Vision-wielders

The Fatui and the Abyss Order, at least one or two other types of dragon...

Look there's a lot okay? You'll figure it out...

It's stressful trying to keep track of this stuff! It takes a toll!

Look at me! I'm only twenty-six!