[Barnum](spoken)

Barnum's the name! P.T. Barnum! And whether you think my humbug is a blessing or a curse, you're still gonna buy it. Why? Because ev'ry sixty seconds in this world a delightful phenomenon takes place which absolutely guarantees it!

[Barnum](sung)

There is a sucker born every minute

Each time the second hand sweeps to the top

Like dandelions up they pop

Their ears so big, their eyes so wide

And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney

With no truth in it

Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn

'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute

And I'm referrin' to the minute you was born

Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em

Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face

Another sucker takes his place

And plunks his quarter on the line

To buy my brand of genuine malarkey

God bless and love 'em!

But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene

'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute

But Ma'am you mighta been the minute in between

If I allow that right here in my hands

The smallest living human man

The sight of that is surely worth a dime

If I present an educated pooch

Who's trained to dance the hoochie cooch

What better way to waste a bit of time

If I imported monumental cost

A lady, fair, who's head was lost

While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias

Who eats farina through a hose

And wears pink tights instead of clothes

If that ain't worth a buck my name ain't Phineas

Aw you say that's hog wash well who cares

You'll buy my hog wash long as

There's a sucker born ev5ery minute

Each time the second hand sweeps to the top

Like dandelions up they pop

Their ears so big, their eyes so wide

And though my tale is bonafide baloney

Just let me spin it

And ain't no man who can resist me wait and see

'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute

And friends the biggest one excluding none is me!