[Chorus]

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke

It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tugging barge

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

You better give us all the money in your treasure chest

Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn

[Verse]

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

Your poop deck is a shithole and your rudder is crap

And your cannons are incapable of firing twenty feet

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

Your stupid navigator is an alcoholic

And all your crew look like LEGO bricks

[Chorus]

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

Your shitty wee boat is a fucking joke

It's just the unwanted leftovers of a jobby tugging barge

Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks

Your pirate ship can eat a giant bag of dicks

You better give us all the money in your treasure chest

Or Kristof's gonna take a shit on your fucking lawn