[Verse 1]

When I’m on the toilet I’m a beast (beast)

When I get infected it’s yeast (y-yeast)

When I see discharge I feast (f-f-feast)

Right now I’m beating my meat (meat)

We come in big packs like we come in a fleet (yeah)

I come in a splash like I'm unleashing sleet (woohoo)

I rule Indiana like my name is Pete (yeah)

I make so much bread I don't even need wheat (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Every time I pee it hurts (ow)

Every time I come it spurts (ah)

Fill that ass up with dirt (woo)

I will keep it a gurt (huh)

I am making it squirt (huh)

I am making it spurt (huh)

I am making it hurt (huh)

Now I will insert (huh)

Taking a break and I'm jerking my dick

I make the rules, determinative

My nerves might break like I am sclerotic

Everybody's saying that I am neurotic

I have rats in my pants

I have cats in my pants

I fell into some quicksand

And I was naked so now it's dicksand

This bus is called a Baron bus

Pirates probably ride a parrot bus

Bunnies probably ride a carrot bus

Trump probably rides a tariff bus

I was just in Pennsylvania

I'm spooky like Transylvania

I have chronic hypomania

I'm a rock like juresania

The government is out to get me

My owner is out to pet me

I am scary, you should fret me

I fell in a puddle of wet pee

[Bridge]

Ooh

Ugh

Just took a fat shit, about to take another one

Ugh

[Verse 2]

I check my balls for lumps so I don't get cancer

I spin my balls around like I'm a dancer

I'm a reindeer like I'm Prancer

I'm the Vice President like I'm JD Vancer

I look out the window of the bus

I look in my pants and see crust

I look and see a Mexican named Gus

I pop my pimples and out comes pus

I play the piano with my pinkie toe (pinkie, pinkie, pinkie)

I'm a little baby I wear a pink bow (hahahaha)

I am a leaf like I am ginkgo (ginkgo, ginkgo, ginkgo)

I'm a doggie like I'm a dingo

My phone is at a low percent (percent)

I'm selling drugs like fent (fent)

I am pitching a nice tent (tent)

To the left my penis is bent (bent)

This song is way too fucking long (long)

Balance a weight on my fucking dong (dong)

I'm the king like I'm fucking Kong (Kong)

I have a ring for my fucking schlong (schlong)

[Outro]

Sigma